Bf prefers the bodies of slim women

[silverspoons]

Yet we are together and our relationship of six months is progressing really
Well., I am two stone overweight and He has never given me
Reason to think that he is not attracted to my body but encourages me when I tell him that I need to slim a little
For my health.
I'm trying to make sense of it . He has never specifically said he prefers slim women but I know from general chit chat that the women he thinks are attractive are all slim, his previous partners have all been slim so I just wonder about it all. Male viewpoints welcome here too!
I am confident in my body, feel attractive , in fact I would say that I don't feel overweight if that makes sense. I probably feel a lot slimmer than I actually am! It's only In photos that I see my body is overweight .
He says that he loves how body
Confident I am and know what I
Like and am not shy about expressing myself .
I don't diet, I'm middle aged and walk a bit but to me life is too short to skip dessert !
The only reason I would like to slim down
Is a family history of weight related illnesses in later years so am trying to eat less and use lockdown to walk , more so for
My mental health.
I'm not Sure what I'm asking really. Perhaps I'm Worried that if and when we get closer/ more attached that it will become an issue .
For Context he told his best friend , when telling him How he felt he was so happy and had fallen for me
that I was completely different in every way to all his previous partners and not his usual Type . He didn't elaborate and I didn't take the opportunity to ask.
Am I worried about nothing. Is this a non issue?

I prefer the bodies of muscled adonises but doesn't mean I don't fancy DP. A fantasy body is not the same as meeting someone in real life and fancying them.

I think it’s a boorish and insensitive thing to say to a woman myself. What does he mean by slim? Did he mean just not massively overweight? Why on earth did that come up in conversation? I wouldn’t like it.

He never once said to me that he preferred slim women. I just
Know he does from general chat and observations and his ex partners have all been slim.

I don't know if this will help reassure you at all.... I recently got back in touch with an old friend of mine who I have always had a bit of a thing for. He's put on a fair amount of weight since we last saw each other, and is now quite a bit bigger than I'd normally be attracted to in a guy, but I still very much have a thing for him and find him very attractive!

Body confidence is definitely attractive too. I know that my own lack of confidence and insecurities has put guys off. It's really not sexy. It sounds as though your dp loves you just as you are, but I wish you success with your weight loss journey for your own health and happiness.

It doesn’t found like there’s any reason to think your boyfriend isn’t attracted to you.

Losing weight for health reasons is a really good idea but try not to let your confidence dip. There are some great support threads on the weight loss board here.

It's a non issue with your boyfriend i would imagine OP I'm the same age, height, size and weight as you. I also am body confident, know I still have a well proportioned nice figure and have never wanted for male attention.

However, health is the most important thing. There are many contributing factors to my current overweight status and I am working hard to reverse them. It is far easier than maintain good health than to fix bad health.

Good luck (to both of us).

@Marineboy67

Noimagination writes (In reality I think 99% of people prefer slim people. I’m not saying skinny.) Clearly no imagination being exercised there. What an utterly poor sweeping statement that is. Personally as a man a bag of bones skinny or even slim person does nothing for me. No disrespect as people are what they are but to say 99% of people prefer slim people is really not the case. People come in all shapes and sizes there is no one size fits all. Women are historically always depicted in paintings with more of a covered frame unlike the constant drip feed of slim skinny images that's fed in magazines and all across the media. No wonder we have so many young girls & women with eating disorders when people band about that 99% people prefer slim.

There's really no need to be rude. Nobody cares what you like and calling skinny people a "bag of bones" is equally harmful.

I force feed myself in my teens so I wouldn't be bullied for being 'flat' and ' lanky'. Don't be an arse.

Oh I see sorry I missed that bit. He’s never said anything. To be honest I’m not understanding your question or why you’re asking.m exactly. I assume it’s just your general lack of confidence, but probably somewhere you have said you are confident . Not understanding your point really. He says he finds you attractive. But you’re self conscious about your weight I assume is what you’re saying? Fair enough but not sure what it’s got to do with him.

Surprised at all the PPs’ assumptions earlier - about slimness equals attractive and even IS the definition of attractiveness for everyone. Marine Boy - it’s taken a man - to challenge this.

Personally as a man a bag of bones skinny or even slim person does nothing for me. No disrespect as people are what they are

"No disrespect" to slim women in the same breath as referring to them as "a bag of bones". 🤔 That comment IS disrespectful.

Congrats on meeting a lovely guy and inspiring him. I don’t have much to add to this discussion except to say I don’t think you have to worry about wine. If you’re eating sensibly, the wine won’t do you in. Alcohol calories aren’t processed the same way as food.

Obviously wine has other health risks so I’m not saying drink with abandon. You must also be very careful it doesn’t trigger more snacking.

OP, did you feel this way in previous relationships?

I can remember arranging a date with a guy from work and messaging at some point and saying “ I’m not a skinny girl you know” - pretty ridiculous given we knew each other. He just replied “ I know what you look like”. Your BF knows what you look like and is with you. If you want to improve your health & wellbeing then that’s great - “the medicinal chef” is my recommendation for what it’s worth. Just don’t feel you’re lesser than his other girlfriends... he’s with you not them for a reason. Stand tall!

Prior to meeting my DH my 'type' was definitely a slim, tall man, this still rings true in celebrity crushes etc. DH is maybe 2" taller than me and has never and will never be a slim man. Yet we have been happily together for 10 years.

Attraction is about a lot more than body size. Your partner knows what you look like and he is happily with you, it is a non issue.