Dm making up stories

[Greenevalley]

Nc for this as family may be on MN.
My dm is over 80.
She had a difficult childhood and was a very angry dm.
She hit out at us in temper and I couldn't wait to leave home.
My parents split over 40 years ago and dm lives alone.
All of my life I have known that I am the least favourite dc. I also do the most for her.

About a month ago younger sibling told me that dm was upset as I had chided her for her bad parenting and she keeps worrying about it.
I have never, however sorely tempted, said anything to my dm about my, frankly , horrible childhood.
I sometimes wish I had.

Today my older sibling rang to say my dm is upset because I told her last week she will have to go in a home one day.
Again this conversation never happened.
I spoke to younger sibling who confirmed that dm had told her the same thing.

I have asked my siblings to confirm such conversations with me in the future before deciding they're true.
Annoyingly they have been trying to explain to dm that I probably meant something else even though no conversations took place. Therefore unwittingly validating the non existent conversation.

Should I tell my dm to stop telling lies to my siblings?
Does she even realise what she's doing?
I think it may be dementia but my dm is a person who would express her concerns by presenting them as someone's else's words.
She cannot be straight ever.

What would you do?

My husband's grandfather, who's 88, is currently doing the same thing has your mother. Telling members of the family that another family member said something outrageous. It isn't true, it's his dementia talking. He told my SIL that my MIL said she (MIL) was demanding he change his will so that MIL would inherit everything. He told his son that his brother, my FIL, was going to sell his car without his permission. The list goes on and on and on.

There's nothing you can do about it except ignore it.

All of my life I have known that I am the least favourite dc. I also do the most for her

Part of me thinks take a great big step back and let her favourite kids do everything for her, then you are out of the line of fire and false accusations. But I know how difficult that can be, can you contact her GP and let them know you are worried about her memory, can she be tested for dementia.

Only you can really tell if she is behaving out of character or being malicious, and if she is being malicious how any false accusations can impact on your family or professional life.

Oh gosh.
I'm getting off lightly then. Your poor in-laws.

I know there's not much I can do but I feel that after 50 years I'm still the scapegoat.

I'll just have to keep checking the rumours before they get out of hand!

@Dontbeme Thank you.
Luckily I've recently retired.
I may have to contact the gp as I feel there is some paranoia going on.
She's definitely more muddled lately but I assumed that was lockdown.
Come to think of it the lady dm walks with regularly is apparently being snippy with her. Its probably my dm.