Can intellectual incompatibility relationships work?

[TwoAndMe]

I have never had much confidence when it comes to my own intelligence. I think it stems back to childhood (a very emotionally abusive step father). However, through adulthood, I have pushed myself and quite surprised myself. I decided to go back to college after I seperated. Then onto university. To me, that was something I could never achieve. It was difficult with 3 dc's but I managed it.
Anyway, when I date, I always feel a bit insecure when it comes to knowledge. I dated a teacher for a little while. He seemed to know something about pretty much everything. I felt like I didn't know anything. He also had a big close family (all educated). This is another thing that makes me feel insecure. I think because I don't have a close family. I kept putting it off meeting them.
I'm now chatting to someone else. He seems to have done pretty well for himself. Talks about his close family. It pushes me away. I don't know why.
It's not about, if someone is educated. I just start to feel, not good enough or maybe not compatible if they're well travelled, good jobs, big close family.

The headline doesn't even make sense. I didn't do that on purpose. You know what I'm trying to say.

I think you are mixing up intellect and intelligence, which are two different things. The fact these people have close families are also a completely separate issue and should have no bearing if you both have things in common and get on.

My OH is highly academic and has a doctorate in a specific field, highly intellectual but lacks intelligence in some areas. I'm highly intelligent (he says) but don't have post grad qualifications. He's travelled much more than I have, too. This is not our common ground and we don't place importance on it either. We connected via our politics and music.

I think you should stop being so self conscious/comparing and just chat to them!

Emotional intelligence can’t be taught but anyone can learn to be academically intelligent.

Women often have imposter syndrome and men often have know it all egos (at least in my wider family and acquaintances) - the difference is confidence. The teacher probably led the conversation in directions he could show off how clever he was and he was confident he could do that. Learn from his technique

Well you sound pretty intelligent to me. I think this is more about your actual insecurities rather than you having an intellectual conflict with a potential partner. Have you had counselling for this? I also have low self esteem from being bullied when I was younger. I'm working on myself right now and a few things that are helping are:

Positive affirmations on youtube. Listen to these once a day for a few months.

Try meditating at least 3 times a weem.

Being kind to myself and not using negative language towards myself.

Counselling was a massive help for me. Look up acceptance and commitment therapy. It is based on CBT.

I also try to surround myself with positive people or people who are genuine and loyal. They feed back what I feed them which reinforces a feel good favtor about myself.

I honestly feel this is more a need for a journey for you to accept yourself more and not believe what you were wrongly taught.

Week not weem. *

Wow you sound pretty clever to me. Gone back to uni with 3 Dcs as a single mum? That takes guts. Esp with your difficult childhood.

Intelligence can be measured in different ways. It's not all what facts you know.

Don't put yourself down. You're smart in your own way. Look what you're achieving

OP, what you have achieved in your education not only shows intelligence, but a great deal of spirit and courage. You have achieved at a disadvantage, what many others struggle to achieve with all the the privilege, support, and encouragement in the world. THAT makes you VERY interesting.

Differences can enhance a relationship.