Hi Guys
Thanks for everyone who really helped me from my last post about the horrible dating encounter I had. I feel so much better.
I have been doing lots of self work and reflecting, working on my self esteem and reconnecting with friends. I have also started working alongside a therapist to work on boundaries and recognising ‘red flags’. As a few posters commented - ‘there should not have even been a second date after that comment’ and others. I realised I had to take some responsibility for my sense of lack and hoping to attain a certain outcome from men who clearly demonstrate their inability to form lasting human connection.
Anyway. I have been reflecting on three relationships inparticular - one whilst I was at Uni, one was a short term affair in my mid twenties and the other one was the one from my post. Essentially all of these three scenarios left me confused, disproportionary heart broken and sad.
And all of these three men had one thing in common early in the dating phase. The all proclaimed to ME that ‘All Men are Bastards’.
They actually told me that.
Now I do not have this belief - as I have had relationships with good men that just did not work logistically etc. My father is a lovely man and I have lots of male friends. Some of my friends husbands are the most loving, caring and nuturing partners to my friends even at times at extreme stress.
When each of them say this I respond with the above and you can almost see them smirk - like ‘so naive’ look and yes I have every time stupidily continued the relationship but what motivates a man like this to say ‘all men are bastards’
My view is that it really lowers your expectations of their behaviour allowing them to control the narrative more and secondly it really absolves all responsibility for the shit show they are about to inflict on you - because they are a man and ‘all men are bastards anyway’.
Let the debate commence.
Lots of love ladies and men x