So I’m one of 6 siblings and I’m the youngest! And my mom and dad keep loading there issues onto me 😩 They don’t do it to the other siblings as they trust me more and feel they can speak to me more which I’ve never minded but it’s gone past the point of no return now. This maybe a long post but reading it all will give you a better understanding.
I’ve found out my dad is a cheater and has been throughout their relationship and I’ve obviously found out that my mom forgives him everytime. There was a recent cheating incident and this is when I discovered he cheated in the past too, where she found messages/emails to a girl who is only 2 years older than me (his youngest🤢) and it been going on months. My dads been paying for her car and sometimes her rent it’s just awful the stuff she found out and obviously being the only sibling she wants to talk to about stuff like this she tells me and gets me heavily involved!!
My mom quite rightly leave him and drive down to there holiday home to stay. She then asks me to ring my dad and basically have a go at him and make him feel bad which I did. She then wanted me to call the girl he cheated on her with and have a go at her. I refused because as far as I could tell the woman didn’t know about my mom so the only person to blame in my eyes was my dad. But my mom took it into her own hands and started messaging his women’s friends and family on Facebook with all the details about what had happened just to embarrass her. I wasn’t happy with that but a woman in pin will do some crazy stuff. So anyway at this point I learned this wasn’t the first time and apparently my mom had been cheated on lots of times and all with women a lot younger than her. I felt bad for her Ofcourse and it makes me rethink everything but I’m also upset that my mother would allow herself to be treated like that. Two of my older sisters are in situations like hers where the partner has cheated and they’ve gone back blindly just feel like my moms weakness has passed on and I worry if it ever happened to me would I allow myself to be treated this way 😩💔
So anyway my mom caused mayhem for everyone she broke my dads phone scratched his brand new car and went to the holiday home. Apparently she was texting my dad saying she was going to kill herself so my dad rang me and told me and told me to check up on her. Again my other siblings do not know anything and all the weight is on my shoulders. So I’m panicking I ring my mom thankfully she answers straight away and she basically told me she said it to him for a reaction 😒😒. I calmly explained how bang out of order that was and for her to stop playing games. I obviously tell her to not get back with him and she can live with me as i have the room and once she’s sorted herself out we can find her an apartment close to me. I tried to talk to her like I would like to be spoke to if I went to my mom with that problem and she seemed like she was listening and agreed.
I wake up the next day abit later than I usually do about 11am and I ring my mom and she’s already back with him and forgiven him !!! From what I can gather this is what happens everytime he cheats she kicks up a fuss then always goes back to him. I just felt physically exhausted!! It was the first time I ever heard my dad had cheated and then I was bombarded with the past and how many times it had really happened. And ever since it’s been mentally draining for me. I have to face my dad knowing what he’s done but also I have to face my mother knowing what she is putting up with and from the way my mom goes on it’s like I should accept her decisions and just get over it. But she doesn’t allow me to get over it. Every now and then she will ring me saying my dads took his phone in the shower and she’s worrying. Or my dad took longer at the shop do I think he’s cheating. My partner has gone mad at me and demands I tell them to stop telling me things as it’s hurting me which is true but I don’t want my mom to go through these things and have knowone to talk to because she doesn’t really have friends and she won’t talk to my other siblings.
I just feel like the little bubble I lived in thinking my dad and moms relationship is what I aspire to have as they’ve been together since high school and they are both in their 60s now. But it’s just made me realise what a sleaze my dad is and how weak my mom is. I feel like these qualities are in my DNA. Seeing my 2 sisters go through cheating and forgiving them I’ve always thought why would you do that but now I understand it’s just how women in my family are. I wonder if my brothers are cheating now 💔😩 I’ve lost all respect for them.
I don’t know what to do. Like I said I don’t want to stop my mom from coming to me with her problems as she doesn’t have anyone but I also don’t want to hear some of the things she’s been telling me about my dad and her purely because they are my parents and it’s too much info sometimes and also because I don’t like to see my mom allowing herself to be walked over it only teaches me as a woman that it’s ok to do that and I won’t get that mentality no way !!