My partner and I have a good relationship. But all of a sudden she has become so obsessed with social media it is affecting our relationship. She (30F) and I (33F) see eachother at weekends only, and I look forward to quality time with her. But she spends the majority of her time when she is here texting or calling her gay guy best friend, on group chats or texting on WhatsApp. They are in contact everyday all day and it has always been like that, which is already annoying, and whenever we have a disagreement/fall out she will instantly message him to tell him and they will talk about it (often before we even manage to sort things between us). I have talked to her about the continuous texting (she used to do it even when we went out to restaurants together and I would stare out the window whilst she messaged) and she has since stopped that as I told her how rude it was.
Lately her and her guy friend have posted a Tik Tok video (don’t get me started on Tik Tok) and it has gained a lot of attention which they are both over the moon about. Likes, views and comments seem to keep increasing by the hour and it appears to be becoming quite an ego filling exercise. Now I have no issue with this, and I am genuinely pleased it’s done so well, but it is becoming an obsession for them. All they have done the last three days is call, FaceTime, and text eachother to excitedly talk about how great it is, and read out comments to me (hourly).
She woke up the other day, and the first thing she did was say ‘oh my god I need to phone xxxx to tell him to look at the comments’. We had just woken up. When I questioned why that was so important to call so early - I was probably a bit snippy (I mean we are talking 8:30am) she snapped at me and told me she could talk and phone her friends whenever she likes and how often she likes. And it ended in a silly argument.
Our weekend during the days have been spent largely out walking (away from phones which has been great) but as soon as we’re back in the house, she is glued to this phone, constantly talking about all the comments, likes and sitting smirking at her phone. I am honestly becoming so tired of it.
As I type this, she has said to me ‘oh im at 9000 likes on Tik Tok’, and I said nicely ‘that’s great babe but don’t get too obsessed’ and she said ‘why not, I can do what I like’. Which of course she can, but honestly hearing about this constantly is becoming tiring and I am genuinely very uninterested. I wish she would be more interested in me and us....but it seems social media is pleasing her more right now and I feel a bit put out. Her and her friend are already planning on what to post next.
When I’ve tried to talk to her, she makes it out like I’m being needy or overreacting and tells me she can do what she wants. Then when I say something it gives her and her best friend more ammunition to discuss our relationship.
I’m too old for all this social media - ego filled validation. I just want to enjoy spending time with her and vice versa.
Am I being ridiculous feeling like this? It makes me feel second best