idoliketobebesidetheseaside81 ·
31/01/2021 18:51
Hi, long story short was in an abusive relationship for years and then single for a long time before I met somebody else and we got engaged 3 years later. We don’t live together but he spends most of the week here (apart from a few days here and there) We’re very different personalities but get along great (I don’t like some of his behaviours though) he’s quite greedy, lazy (in some respects) e.g he doesn’t cook or clean here very often but spends a hell of a lot of time here. I do all
The food shopping, all of the cooking and do probably 98% of cleaning/washing pots. (He doesn’t contribute financially but has done before) he does, however pay if we go out/away, buys a take away once per week, buys a couple of bottles of wine at the weekend and does the odd thing like pay for my MOT or repairs on my car.
He makes up for some of these behaviours in being quite kind and loving so before now I’ve sort of ignored those behaviours. Until now.
I’m so resentful of him at the min, he comes her, eats, sleeps and then goes home and then the next day the same happens again. I feel like all we do is fall asleep on the sofa or in bed watching tv and I feel like I’ve become a bit of a housewife. I know that lockdown has probably made a lot of us feel this way so I’m mindful that I may be being over dramatic (hormones) and feeling a bit down due to lockdown.
Today we’ve had a huge row (we used to argue a fair amount but haven’t done for month)
He’s been across with his child this weekend and his son has damaged a few things (his son is severely autistic) ive brought up the subject as he’s been quite destructive lately (with my kids toys and a few other things) and it needs to be addressed. Anyway I’ve spoken to him and he’s immediately got defensive (as always) and we’ve argued and he’s stormed out...that’s normal for him. He won’t hear a bad word said about his son and he also cannot take any form of criticism. So if we argue or he doesn’t like something I’ve said he’ll become very loud and verbally aggressive and storm out, I probably won’t hear from him for a couple of days now. I ALWAYS take the blame for the argument (even though it’s him that’s so ‘loud and shouty’) he’ll say it’s engrained into me to argue because I’ve been in a violent relationship and because I have to raise my voice because he becomes so loud he’ll say I’m verbally aggressive.
I’m starting to hate his behaviour and resent his child.
Everything about him is irritating me (his snoring, his jokes, his laziness, his opinions, he’s put a hell of a lot of weight on and this irritates me, his greed) and I’m also not missing him when he’s not here.
After all of that though, I do love him I just don’t know if I’m in love with him.
I don’t know what I want from this post, just to get it off my chest I suppose as I don’t feel like I have anybody at the moment I can speak to.
Thank you for listening, I feel very confused about my feeling. X