Bad breakup

[Breakingupbadly72]

Hi all. Just looking for some reassurance really. 8 month relationship just ended after many times going backwards and forwards. Both mid 40s. Signs of abuse and red flags so on the whole it is good it has ended. However, I'm left with panic attacks and depression. A very angry message from him earlier. Number deleted but where to start?

just feeling very small, scared and lost my voice and confidence

It was for the best. You are now free and will meet someone who is right for you.

It's a rollercoaster of emotions,is does get better x

How shitty that he is still trying to bring you down. I'd save the number and block it so he cant contact you. Or change your number.

As horrible as his message might be, at least it helps to show you what a vile person he is and that you've made the right decision.

Your confidence will come back the longer you are away from him. These things take time. Bit once you can successfully shut out his voice, your own will slowly return.

Thank you. He made me doubt from the start, it has felt like mental torture. Little put downs and 'breadcrumming' but he also said he loved him. He went to see an ex when we were first dating and it cast a shadow on the rest of our time together, ruined it for me really and trust broken. He admitted to having a 'reputation' and had countless relationships/women.
I've felt very threatened at times and my mental health has really suffered. I still feel 'attached' to him. It hurts so much

*loved me

All else aside, personal saftey has to come first for a woman. Nothing trumps that.

But having met his kind, for me now, mental health also has to come first. I can risk my heart but never my sanity. No man is worth that risk. And if they threaten it, they're gone. Heartache is a small price to pay in order to keep...yourself.

It sounds like he was starting to destroy you. So you walked away. Good on you. That shows real strength and growth as a person. And its proof that you will be fine. Because you can trust yourself to do right by yourself.

Next steps, read up lots on hlnarcossistsand how to spot them. YouTube videos on ppl that have been through similar to you may also help. Melanie tonia evans is good. The more you learn about how vile they are, the easier it is to detach from the idea of him having a good side. And the easier it will be to spot his kind in future, which will help you to trust yourself more.

His kind foster obsession. It isnt love though - because think about it, you don't actually like him, right? I mean he is vile. He has just worked a mind voodoo on you. And it will die out the longer you stay away from his poisonous words.

You are strong. Believe in yourself. You'll get there.

*read up a lot on narcissists and how to spot them

I could never tell what was/wasn't real with him. Example, tmi I know, but during sex he said he had me exactly where he wanted me and was taking advantage. He also once remarked he wonder if he could 'control, well not control, manage me' that he didn't want to hurt me came from nowhere, I feel used. He said never to contact him again.

he also mentioned about destroying me. I'm very confused

He sounds like a classic narc, you had a lucky escape, it could have lasted years. Celebrate your survival and do everything you can to forget him. Use nlp techniques to change how you see him so you don't end up thinking about him lots.

Just a standard malignant narcissist op. Which is basically a psychopath.

Someone threatening to destroy you is not neurotypical. They're crazy. And dangerous.

Keep well away. And if ever you feel in danger,dont be slow to call the police. They know his type well.