really attracted to another man just now, feel like i am about to do something stupid

[needakick]

been married to my dh for 8 years, in that time i have never looked at another man (until now) and i dont think he would be capable of hurting me by cheating on me

BUT

for the last few months i have been really attracted to another man who lives close to me (dh works with him, they are not good friends but know each other this way). this man has some kind of spell over me, i cant get him out of my head. he is not even anything to look at but something about him drives me crazy!!!

i know he has already had a one night stand and cheated on his wife (so he is a shit) but i would still be willing to risk everything i have to get close to him.

he makes me feel so good about myself and we have so much in common, to the point where i wonder if he is the one i am supposed to be with instead of dh (i know that sounds stupid but he feels like the other half of me)

i know i deserve to get called the names under the sun for feeling this way but i really can not help it, any advice about how to handle this would be so welcome.

i dont see him very much just now but when i do i could just cry because i feel so much for him. i know he would be up for something happening between us and thats why i dont trust myself to be near him.

Don't do it!!!!

All I will say on the matter. But trust me. Not worth it. I know whereof I speak.

ditto wordsmith

Ooh, I feel for you. Keep away from him, not worth throwing everything away for. You will surely feel differently in 6 months time. remember- he is a shit.

Don't be such an arse, sexual frustration is not worth throwing your marriage away for. This is LUST. You don't even like this man. You need some cold hard reality here - IF he was the one for you, he'd be interested in having a relationship, not a shag!

Spend one month away from this guy, no contact and try not to think about him. If it's love you will feel no different, chances are though, you'll realise he is, as you say, a shit and you don't need it.

You do need to work on your relationship with your DH though.

put as much distance between him and you as you possibly can.STEP AWAY FROM THE SHIT!!!

Won't call you any names- that you don't deserve.

Things always seem better you know grass is greener.

Think of him sitting on your sofa, doing sod all in his pants, scratching his balls. Not so attractive now eh?

Look at what you have, look at what you would get, look at where it would lead.

I felt like this and it was because things were not right at home, I wish I had taken the chance to do something about my marrage back then instead of the crappy situation (divorce) because exH obviously had an urge too but followed it through.

Weigh it all up and let your head have a chance as well as your heart.

whomovedmychoc & ohbloodyhell thank you, that the kind of shake i need and the kind of ideas i need put in my head.

its just so bloody difficult though, i cant even remember feeling this way about dh when we first met.

Don't do it. I say this from experience.

Ah you did, but possibly your relationship with him was based on reality rather than just a fantasy of what might be because you had regular contact with him (not being sarcastic btw).

Put as much space and time between him and you as you can and concentrate on your husband. Can you remember ten lovely things about him. Does he make you laugh, is he solidly reliable? A great father?

If nothing else, try being polite and caring towards him for a few weeks and making a huge effort and see if things don't get better.

Good luck

How are you today NAK?

You said you would be 'willing to risk everything you have to get close to him'. Is that really the case?? If so - then go for it. Just be prepared to accept the consequences.

If it is just lust and a fantasy then step away.

But do the right thing - leave your dh before anything happens with this man. If you are able to leave your dh on the strength of your feelings for the other man, then you know you're doing the right thing.

If not - then you have your answer.

he doesnt sound like a good bet though does he?
and do you have children?

As with the others - dont do it. The reprecussions are enourmous and go a lot further than you can think of right now.

Enjoy that fantasy feeling but enjoy the fact that you are a better person than to delibratly hurt anyone else for your own pleasure. You will feel better about yourself in the long run.

gosh was really not expecting so much good advice, baffy what you have said really hit me hard. i would not leave my dh hoping to be with this man, i am just being totally selfish and wanting to have both of them.

yes i do have 2 children, dd's age 6&3 who are both daddys girls and it would break there little hearts if he was not with us.

part of the reason all these feelings have come to a head is because i have been running into this man every morning after the school drop of, he actually changed the way he went to school to pass me (which i was flattered at ) this morning his wife was with him and he totally ignored me i dont know what i was expecting him to do but it made me feel like shit.

what a shit, (him obvioulsy)

how do you know he changed his route though, to see you?