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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Received police letter for my ex...what to do?

4 replies

pyramidhead · 31/01/2021 13:05

I have been no contact with my ex for 4 months. He is basically a waste of space, was emotionally abusive and had addictions to drugs and alcohol throughout our relationship.
He was banned from driving for the past 2 years of our 3 year relationship. This was because he was caught driving under the influence and failed to provide a blood specimen.
I know, he sounds absolutely terrible and what was I thinking. I guess I somehow saw good in him and thought he would change. We eventually split because he was messaging his exes and still using drugs etc, he said I was being unreasonable and I did act out myself at times as I just felt so anxious and depressed about it all.
I have maintained no contact and he has not tried to contact me either.
I have been told by friends that he is all over Tinder, still using drugs etc.
He is like a different person to the guy I tried to make myself think he was.
Admittedly I have struggled for the past few months, but I have stayed strong and have no desire to contact him.
Anyway, yesterday I received a Prosecution Notice from the police for him, basically he was caught driving some woman's car by himself, he was not insured and apparently had no valid licence at the time. So being charged with no insurance or licence. As far as I know he got his licence back last summer whilst he was living at his new address.
He never lived at my address so why would the letter come here? Has he purposely given my address?
Should I return the letter as "not at this address", or contact the police myself?
It has kind of stirred me up again a bit. I wont contact him about it. And I guess its proof that he's still a grade A jerk :/

OP posts:
Aimee1987 · 31/01/2021 13:09

I would do both.
So send the letter back as not at this adress but also explain to the police what you have said here and they can advise.

CurlsLDN · 31/01/2021 13:10

I would contact the police directly, a 'not at this address' is unlikely to make it all the way back to the officer who needs to deal with him.
In order to let them do their job as quickly as possible, and also to ensure you're not mixed up in it, I'd give them a call and explain, and also ask that your address not be listed as his

Mamamia456 · 31/01/2021 13:13

He has obviously given the police a false address. Return it saying not known at this address and let them deal with it. He sounds like a waste of space. Don't get involved in what he's doing and move on with your life. You deserve so much better.

pyramidhead · 31/01/2021 13:45

Thanks. I will contact the police tomorrow to make sure they are aware he is nothing to do with me.
I don't get why he would give my address, but he's a tw*t so his behaviour never makes any sense.
If anything, its made me realise that he will never change. Looks like another driving ban for him too!

OP posts:
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