When processing abuse how do you forgive yourself for the things you did?
I did some things that at the time I pushed aside, I didn’t have time to process but they festered away into depression over the decade we were together . I’ve been out a good few years now but every so often it gets me. I’ve had some counselling and I’ve done a great deal of reading. I understand I was surviving but it doesn’t change the fact that some things goes against my morals.
At the very beginning he forced sex upon me to get me pregnant and I had very little choice, was all very fast and I didn’t keep up. I chose to have an abortion because he scared me. It was the right decision although I went on to have a child much later on which I was again forced but I love her and wouldn’t change it.
I’m not happy that I put myself in that situation, I should have not let that happen. Although abuse is not something you choose but learn to live around and survive.
Has anyone been in the same situation and learned to just “let it go”. I am at times really not happy with myself but I want a life now that is happy.