For those of you in happy marriages.

[Tenorclef]

How would your oh react if you’d had a bit of a dtd dry spell (a month).

How would they react if you then said you had started getting panic attacks about dtd and were on medication as they had become so severe?

Or, vice versa, how would you react if your oh said this to you?

My dh did not react well - please, I’m not looking for any comments on that (even if you figure out the NC).

I am looking for a sense of how other people would react and what you/your oh would do in this situation.

and being obnoxious about an occassional dry spell is deserving of a permanent drought.

Correct but this is more like “I’m so anxious about having sex with you that I’m having panic attacks”. That is going to dent anyone’s feelings.

My husband would be completely supportive. He would tell me there was no pressure at all, that I could have all the time I needed, and that he loves me regardless. He would ask if he could do anything to help. He would question whether his behaviour had made me feel that way, and if he needed to change it. I would say exactly the same in response to him.

I’m so sorry your husband hasn’t been supportive. He is absolutely in control of his behaviour - he chose not to be caring.

My DH will and has been supportive. I’ve been a victim of rape, have suffered poor mental health and take SSRIs that can have an effect on my sex drive. I also have 2 small children with DH and a full time job so I’m permanently knackered. If we have a dry spell it’s no big deal and helps me work through it. Certainly no negative reaction and if he did react negatively, he wouldn’t be my DH anymore and I’d be looking for someone who would treat me better.

A month would be a really quick time to go from having sex to not having sex and developing such strong anxiety around it you’ve been given medication. Has something triggered the anxiety? Are you accessing any therapy? Have you both been communicating about this situation as it progressed?

My DH would react differently depending on how communication had been, whether he felt I was saying it was his fault, whether I was implying this was a new permanent state... lots of variables