Hi, I have posted here before about my relationship, last year I asked my partner to leave as his behaviour was had become very controlling, verging on abusive. To cut a long story short, in the end I agreed to let him stay as he promised to change and to give him credit he has really tried.
The problem is that a year later I still feel the same about him, the way he has behaved in the past has eroded any attraction I have to him and as a result our sex life is non existent. We also have absolutely nothing in common so we and struggle to find anything to talk about and we both want completely different things from life. For instance I am desperate for us to save up for a house deposit so we can eventually have a nice place for our kids to live but he is happy to stay as we are and won’t contribute, he also keeps running up debts that will eventually make it impossible for us get a mortgage.
Overall he isn’t a bad person, he has tried to change and he seems desperate for our relationship to work and he is a good dad to our kids but I just don’t want to be with him anymore.
I know he wishes I felt the same way about him and it makes him sad and bitter that I don’t so I feel like he would be happier in the long term if we separated.
The biggest reason haven’t left him is because we have 3 kids and it feels selfish to upset them without a good reason. If I leave him I would have to give up any hope of ever buying a house and moving my kids to a better area. I can’t decide if I should just put up with life as it is now, after all he has made an effort to change, I feel trapped at the thought of being with him forever and it’s making me so unhappy.