Tips to get over a beloved ex husband after his affair?

[rosesarered2021]

Divorced after a long marriage when ex left me for a younger woman who immediately got pregnant. No going back and no contact.
3.5 years on and I'm still struggling to get him off my mind. I've been to three counsellors and done as much as I can to try and shift the deep hurt but it just won't leave me.
Any tips from people who have been in similar situations ?

It will get better...
My two cents:

Totally agree with pp who said that its healthy to sey new challenges/ hobbies/ etc. Give your brain something new to think about.

Letting yourself ruminate can become a habit, and a habit for your neural pathways. Develope a strategy to stop your mind from constantly 'going there'.

This is cheesy ( but)

Spend time intensively looking after yourself. Be consciously grateful for what you have. Let that be the first thing you think up every morning, and the last thing every night.

When my marriage ended, I focused on 'kids job dog house'

And you know- you will move forward. You will get past it. You will grow in a positive way, and when you look back, you'll wonder what you ever saw in him.

He was an integral part of a good few chapters in your life story. There was life before him and there will be life after him. Do you want to get over him or is there still a significant part of you that is still invested in your life together? Till death do us part was never guaranteed.

Your life without him is different not less than, just different. Embrace it, get out of your comfort zone but life without him will continue, wether you choose to participate or not.

Staying stuck is a choice, it’s just not a particularly rewarding one.

Assuming he is late 40s /50 is he really ecstatically happy being a father again. Those broken nights? He's got 2 children , will his new partner feel shortchanged, it's not the same as them having a first baby together. And the exciting sex life with a new partner, I'm sure that went out the window when the baby arrived if not before
I think your 'blissfully happy' is probably unrealistic. But after such an emotional event as causing a marriage break up, who is ever going to say oops I've made a mistake - no one.