I'm not to sure what to do. This situation is looming in the future of my relationship. I'm a new ftm mum to a 2 month old and dealing with my own set of issues following on from a traumatic pregnancy and birth. Anyways...
Me and dp havent really had sex in coming up to a year now. My pregnancy was hard as my baby was on the bigger side and not only that I just didnt feel comfortable or right having sex with a baby inside me. Over the entire span of my pregnancy we only had sex twice. I was expecting things to go back to normal after the birth but that was before I knew i was going to undergo surgery and trauma.
The problem here is that since it's been so long and I've become complacent with the situation. I dont crave or want sex for many reasons. first off I'm breastfeeding so my boobs are a strict no zone, and leaking isnt the most attractive of things to get things going. The idea of my insides literally still sewing together puts me off. Our baby sleeps with us so its not like we have any privacy to do anything and just in myself I dont feel my most attractive or fittest physically and mentally, I've still got a long way to in recovering and feeling normal again. Obviously my partner is all reared up and ready to go. He has been patiently waiting throughout my pregnancy and now the time has come he has made it very clear he is frustrated with the circumstances. I hate the pressure its creating on me. He may not be doing it deliberately, I understand he is allowed to feel how he wants as much as me but us not being on the same level has caused me to feel like that. I've openly told him I dont see sex on the cards for a long while, maybe not ever. I've realised I'm quite happy the way things are. He says were more like friends than a couple and that hurts because it's made me aware of how important sex is for him.
I've already told him if he needs to go else where then I would understand as it's not fair on him nor do I expect him to stay if this relationship isnt fulfilling for him. We both dont want to make any rash decisions after just bringing a child into the world but I know this is a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. I also dont want to end up doing things because I feel like "I have to" to make my partner happy. If I'm to be intimate again I want it to be natural and from a place of wanting instead of needing to. Its not like were not affectionate. We kiss here and there and cuddle all the time. But the constant attempts of sex on his behalf is becoming daunting for me. Are we facing a dead end here? I dont want to have to leave a relationship over this. I want what's best for my dd. Please help!