I am twice divorced OP. 2 x long marriages. Both perfectly good kind men. They were not right for me, my fault, my poor choices. Long story short i am ambitious and determined, will give everything i am capable of to achieve and work hard/long hrs. Ex DH's more chilled, not bothered by moving up career / property ladder. I felt held back and frustrated. ( i came from nothing so wanted to be a success). I am better on own and have achieved all that i feel is important to me in terms of finance and material things.
My ex DH's are good men, great dads to my two children, their only children. You could argue that they could have done more while we were married, i did talk during each marriage, tried to make it work. They were really not that personality, i was expected to lessen my expectations instead of them increasing theirs. We were very different people with different ideas. I got tired of always being the driving force. It wore me down.
To other women, they are good men and extremely good responsible , kind and involved fathers to my/our shared children and they are good men. Just not right for me.
I know what you mean OP, i am suspicious always now. What people say they want and what they are actually prepared to do , often differ. Marriages break down for lots of reasons. Maybe you just need to go a bit slower and really get to know this guy, understand him more and why his marriage failed. Two sides to every story so bear that in mind when he is talking to you. His ex wife's story isn't going to be offered up. Take yr time. Just because he is divorced does not ordinarily mean he was a bad husband, maybe just not suited to his ex wife?? Take it slow.