Here are a list of behaviours from the guy when he is in a situation were he is unhappy about something, or is finding it hard or difficult.
- He will say or do absolutely nothing/stonewalling - even if his partner is in front of him visibly distressed and trying to communicate the problems and trying to deal with the situation.
- He will lack empathy for his partner or consider what she is going through at that time (even if he's done something that has upset her and he's at fault).
- He will minimise the problem and make out it's no big deal and his partner is over-reacting.
- He will twist and turn things around on his partner and make her feel like she's doing something wrong. (Manipulation?)
- He will try to get out of whatever he is being confronted about and have an excuse for it or something to defend himself with.
- He will be selfish and turn everything and make everything about him and his feelings and what he needs at that moment and what he can't deal with.
- He will defend himself and back himself up by saying all of the good things he has done.
- He will put on a victim act and talk about how hurt he is (despite his partner also being hurt), and how he doesn't deserve this. He will put on a self-pity act and feel sorry for himself. Almost like guilt-tripping behaviour towards his partner.
- He will go off and give the silent treatment and stop all communication. Will ignore all attempts at contact made by his partner. Will only decide to talk again whenever he is ready to. The partner feels in this time like she should do all the chasing and she doesn't know where she stands with him because she is completely being ignored.
- When he is in a more co-operative mood, he will make a half-assed attempt at understanding (or saying he understands) and taking responsibility and admitting how he handled everything was wrong and that it won't happen again. - Yet it always does.
- When things have got really bad with his partner or ex-partner, he will go straight to social media and attention seek and put on a victim act to the world and manipulate/control the situation and tell everyone how hurt he is. Make himself out to be some angel in the relationship. Being defensive and telling everyone what good things he did. 'I did this for her.. I did that for her' etc...'Look at what she did'...Making his partner out to be the monster and telling everyone what bad things she did. Fails to mention at any point what bad things he did. He allows any old Tom, Dick and Harry to comment on his partner (even if they've never met her). Allows them to say nasty things about her, name-calling her. He basically allows everyone to completely disrespect her and be nasty about her.
- He sends photos of her out to people and allows them to say 'yes she looks like a nutjob.
- Later on, when there is any communication between him and his partner, he will make half-assed attempts at taking responsibility and saying things like 'im not perfect', but overall, still plays victim and just focuses on how hurt HE is and how HE doesn't deserve this and that etc...
- During the relationship, he has kept numerous secrets and lied to his partner's face when challenged about things. When he's been found out he claims he didn't want to hurt his partners feelings, although it is obvious it was to just protect himself and get himself out of any confrontation.
- He will sometimes get angry and agressive and lose his temper when he cannot handle some situations.
- He excuses bad behaviour and just says something like 'everyone makes mistakes' and trying to normalise it (even when it's absolutely not normal).