Does 30 day no contact work?

[Rainydaysandmondays2]

It’s been 8 weeks exactly no contact. And I’m just wondering when do you move on from feeling rubbish or generally thinking about them. I think I’m getting there but they still fill my thoughts all the time. I’m just wondering if they’ll ever go. I have a fear ten years on I’ll still be like this.

I think I thought if I could get to 30 days I’d feel magically better.

Depends how long and how much it hurts.

For my ex -we are 7 years on from a messy and awful divorce and unforuntarly he phones the kids twice a week and tries every which way to get to me -rather than just talk to them.

I don't love him and I fell out of love quickly. But it took a year.

You are getting there. It takes time.
The lockdown won't be helping.

Being in lockdown doesn't help, no one can really get on with life.
8 weeks is still a fairly short time, I would think in another few months you will feel better than now, as you say you are getting there, it varies though, if you were still in love then it hurts more than breaking up with someone that you weren't so in love with. I split from my EXH after 19 years but only took a couple of months to get over it, I went straight into dating, after all those years I couldn't wait! I know most say be single and happy but is not for everyone and sometimes to get over someone you need to get under someone, to make yourself move on.

It might help to talk about what went wrong to a friend or on here.

Nearly 8 weeks for me too, I've struggled a lot with it and nearly caved. I still think about him everyday and cry most days but I've got out of the habit of checking his WhatsApp and hoping for a message from him.

I worry too that I will feel like this forever as I got over my unhappy marriage very quickly, however that was a relief to be free so I guess thats different. Keep going OP we can do this

Sorry to all of you going through similar.

My fear is i went no contact a year ago. Then after 6 months I caved and got in touch. Then in December I realised he’s really no good for me. He’s not evil but he isn’t a great guy. Told me he was resentful of my success, felt like he was putting me down. His friends are never people I’d be friends with. Again they’re not awful, but I don’t think they’re particularly nice people. Now it’s been 8 weeks and I don’t know why I still feel so upset. I swing between being angry with him and angry at myself for ever getting involved to feeling sad and missing him. Id just like to be over him, to have no strong feelings either way and wish him well.

It's been nearly two years. i still go through phases of missing him or being angry with him. He is pretty much always on my mind.

Part of the problem is that he was great, I loved him, I thought he felt the same. Reality was quite different and I have nothing to make me feel that the wonderful partner hadn't been a monster all along.

I would like think that he is rotting in hell, but he's probably with the OW, with everyone thinking he's wonderful, and how long before she realises he's a monster.

I went NC. He's blocked on everything apart from my mind.

Nearly 3 weeks NC here. He's still on my mind. I feel strongly that if it weren't for lockdown I would have already pretty much moved on fully. I mistook him as a soulmate and he turned out to be a manipulative, lying, cheating POS.