Hurting

[Leanne1191]

I don't know what to do, I'm hurting so much! This pain I feel is just so intense, I wake up feeling sad all the time, always thinking about him and her, I don't know how to move forward? I can't eat, my sleep is bad. He came to see me yesterday because he wants us to move forward but how can I? He's betrayed me, he's hurt me? He's crushed me? I only found out that he did cheat on me end of October, then I found out he was still with the woman he cheated on me with middle of December, he didn't tell me any of this I found this out from his family as he constantly lied to me. He told me yesterday he hadn't been happy for years and that he we shouldn't of got married? Crushed me! He's just making all these excuses to defend his behaviour. I have posted on here before my threads are still here from how it all started to now. I've never felt pain like this in my life. I know I deserve better and I'm worth more than this but I can't help but feel so sad and hurt. He has already cheated on her as he was still sleeping with me when he come back from working away, then he slept with some other woman a couple of times too. He lied to her about being married and didn't even tell her till weeks after that I existed. We was together over 8 years and married 6 months. They're whole relationship has been based on lies and what sort of woman gets with a man like this too? She forgave him. He told me he's with her now finally after lying for months and months, he's made out I was crazy to her and that other woman, he told me they will be getting a place together too. I had everything.... then in a flash it was all gone. Hand on heart can honestly say I never saw any of this coming and I think that hurts the most. I did nothing wrong and was honest and loyal to him for all the time we was together. I don't know what to do? I'm just stuck in this cycle of sadness.......

Sorry this has happened. I have been where you are and I will say that what you are feeling is normal. He has betrayed you and he has stolen the future you imagined you would be having together. The only advice I can offer is to take each day as it comes. Try not to contact him, I know you want answers and you probably want to hurt the ow- again these feelings are natural. Try to eat something, contact online counselling services, it really helps to talk these things through with someone outside of your situation.

If you have no children then be no contact, it's the only way to get over him, start the divorce process.

@Maze76

Sorry this has happened. I have been where you are and I will say that what you are feeling is normal. He has betrayed you and he has stolen the future you imagined you would be having together. The only advice I can offer is to take each day as it comes. Try not to contact him, I know you want answers and you probably want to hurt the ow- again these feelings are natural. Try to eat something, contact online counselling services, it really helps to talk these things through with someone outside of your situation.

I've been having counselling and therapy, I've had my anti depressants changed, it's just so hard with covid too, I just feel so shit. I feel pathetic worthless and a failure to my kids. I just can't shake this off and I just feel stuck.

@seensome

If you have no children then be no contact, it's the only way to get over him, start the divorce process.

We have children, he will start the divorce. I just feel so low. So stuck and so down.

You should be the one divorcing him on the grounds of him cheating. Don't let him continue being so disrespectful to the mother of his children.

Unfortunately you are tied together through your children but that doesn't mean you have to deal with his behaviour. Only discuss children and access to them.

You are not useless or worthless at all, what you are is betrayed and heartbroken. It’s the heartbreak that leaves you feeling so low, and this will pass in time. Like I said, the only thing you can do is take each day as it comes and the only thing you can control are your actions. Please continue with your counselling, and anytime you feel you want to rant at him, or them, or you just want to moan, do it here.. or scream into a pillow- but don’t show him any of your emotion, he’s taken enough from you.