Mother who makes snarky remarks

[HowshouldIdealwiththis]

Hello,

does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a mother that "likes to bite" /make snarky remarks towards you?

Her comments upset me, but she won't change, and she's always been like that.

My mother always did this. She would just come out and say things that were a put down but because I was brought up never to answer back or be cheeky, I put up with it.

She would insinuate that I was unintelligent, and always let me know how much better my siblings were than me.

In the end, I had to cut her off as she started doing it with my children and I decided that she could do it to me but not to them.

Mine was like this too. She's long gone but that is all I remember about her - nasty remarks .

They don't change, so you need to make up your mind as to what you'll do about it. Basically this comes down to 1) cut her off or 2) put up with it. Talking to her, asking her not to do it, that won't make any difference. Good luck.

Just agree with her. And add the BUT, and smile
Yes mum I am a bit untidy, BUT my kids made snowmen and memories today so we didn’t have time to tidy
Yes mum my hair is awful BUT that is the joy of living here in the U.K. and being able to choose exactly how I do it now I am a grown up
Yes mum I can’t cook, BUT thank goodness for supermarket ready meals. Such a brilliant invention

And so on. It really works.

Back off.

Don't reply to anything for a while.

Really give her a little taste of being cut off.

Then 'Oh sorry, I just needed a break from the snarky remarks for a while. A little holiday from being made to feel like shit by you! It was great, I must do it for longer soon! :) '

Frighten her.

If it doesn't - then cut contact.