What would you do/advise?

[Bedroomprisoner]

I've name changed for this.

Okay so the details are: DP of 11 years, 2 children of school age, not married but own a home together.
I am ECV, DP breaks lockdown rules and goes to other people's houses, he doesn't make an effort to stay away from me.
I came home from a hospital stay because I am poorly, he puts his music on very loudly after I got showered. The house is an absolute shit tip, not a single thing has been tidied or cleaned and I get moaned at for not keeping him updated enough whilst I was in hospital, despite msging him to tell him when I expect to be back so he can see to DC.

This is a massive drip feed btw, but if this was a seemingly normal relationship, what would be your thoughts on it? Without any other bullshit to cloud your judgement.

I just want to know that I'm not over reacting and that he is in fact being VU.

i don't have much to add. but i have a lung disease and if i had a dp and he was so reckless and uncaring to willingly break lockdown rules to expose me to covid i would feel as if my life meant nothing to him.

and i did have an ex that was not very sympathetic or helpful whenever i was sick. it made me feel like i didn't matter. over time it ate at me and i knew i couldn't be with him into old age because he would never be supportive or attentive or caring if/when i was ill.

This is what I believe. I think he has so little regard for my health, it scares me.

There's nothing normal about your relationship, and I'm left to wonder why you are tolerating this useless, absolute shit of a man. Does he care about you at all? Doesn't appear so.

He neither respects you or for that matter his children. All he cares about is his own self

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.

Would you want your children as adults to be in a relationship like this, no you would not. How can you be helped here into leaving such a millstone of a man around your neck?. All he is really doing now is dragging both you and your children down with him into his pit.

@AttilaTheMeerkat I have been planning on leaving since before lockdown 20, but covid happened and then I became very ill, too ill to move.
I tried to leave once before which didn't go down well and if I'm honest, trying again does worry me.
But I'm glad I'm not over reacting on this.