Grief of separation and new relationship

[justplugitin]

I feel 90% healed from my separation 18 months ago . It has been a very busy time and my children are with me 80% of the time . The children are also with me
Full time over lock down .
After a year, I felt ready to start dating . At no stage do I or would I ever want my husband back, he did me a
Massive favour .
I find myself now in a six month relationship with a man who has given me
No reason to distrust him only a man that has shown Love and we are equal and feelings are Mutual . We see each other each week and things are going v well.
However sometimes, I get overwhelmingly sad at how my life had turned out, the sadness that my children had to endure and I am Scared for the future with this man . We both have strong feelings for each other but I do worry about heartbreak again and if I am able to be strong enough . It feels like a wobble , ive had a few over the last few months . I don't want to push him away and he has said that he understands and is patient and feels he can weather the storm so to speak .
Is this normal? Can you advise me please r share tips to get through these times . I really Don't want to lose him or sabotage this. He is the one thing in my life that is easy and stress free and he also gives me huge joy .

Any one
Please ?

It's only been 6 months, lots of which we've been in lockdown. You can't know this man all that well. So relax. Carry on exactly as you are, taking things slowly and getting to know each other. It's not clear what the problem is exactly?

I guess I am
Just afraid that my low moments will put him off and destroy what happiness we have and I'm also afraid of really falling for him and being heartbroken all over again. Thanks for the reply .

Yeah, I can empathise. I love DP deeply, it was the right thing to divorce my ex who treated me unforgivably really. But I hate being divorced. I feel like a failure and like I've let my children down.

That's it too . I look at my
Children and I see their sadness and their upset. One of
My children has autism amd has no friends and is happy not to have friends . I see her out walking on her own while her classmates walk together with their dogs and I could just burst out crying . My other child hates her father ... he had an affair ... and is filled with anti men attitudes . She was also dumped around the time
Of the affair being exposed . My other child has big anxiety issues too so I feel like such a failure . I'm wfh and trying to home
School and my ex has moved his gf in , who doesn't want to meet the children . In the middle of this I met and fell for a kind decent loving man whose company keeps me sane and is a respite
From the heaviness in my
Life . I'm afraid he will either leave me because of everything or I'll fall in love with him and we will break up naturally . I feel like my life right now is unbearable .

You can bear it, one step at a time. Things are awful right now without complicated emotions round your separation/new relationship. Maybe you need a counsellor to talk things through with?

Yes I've had lots of
Counselling for my break up and in theory I know that I'm doing my best and that this is not my fault . I may speak
To her again. Thank you. Especially for the flowers

18 months is still a fairly short time to recover from such trauma of a cheating spouse and separation. I assume you are not divorced yet? You also have some issues with your children. You are going through a lot at the moment. A new relationship on top of this will, at times, compound the natural grieving cycle of recovery. That said, just be open and honest as you are with your beau right now. Recovery is not a linear process but something that ebbs and flows with ups and downs, steps forward and steps back. It might be a good idea to return to therapy to help you through this particular time. You may also think you are ready for a relationship but sub consciously it might not be the right time and more healing might be needed before commitment to someone else. Only you can weigh that up.