Backstory, DP travels for work, was away for first lockdown which was all manner of hell, we had a semi break for a few weeks at the end of the year as he ‘discovered’ things which he blew out of proportion from a few years ago. All fine we decided it was worth working through it as he’d lied about certain things which I felt forgiveable under the circumstances so as neither of us are perfect we would live with that fact.
He is working away still and can’t come back due to the restrictions / quarantine so it’s easier for him to stay were he is as getting back to where is from the U.K. is a challenge and work is time sensitive. It’ possible, but to be honest it’s all very complicated but still possible but he’s chosen not to because of the quarantine times. Fine I understand that but before our falling out he absolutely would have back sure if he could be back he would.
I’ve not seen him in a very long time so when the day before he was due to arrive, so but not sorry no. I get the situation around travelling right now but the constant last minute changes to everyone scheduling because of his decisions are a constant and preceded Covid. Also the fact he would always be back if remotely possible.
This morning I had an absolute meltdown, power out, water, heating etc has gone and faffing and fussing to get it fixed, two vulnerable children and one physically disabled one (they aren’t his), and I got upset with him as if he sense I’m upset he disappears. Spoke to him and it ended up in me saying it wasn’t going to work with this set up and he refuses to make the time and effort etc, his response was he feel less motivation because of what I apparently did, and when I interjected to tell him he was still wrong about what he thinks went on (I went out with friends and drank too much and DIDNT have a bloody affair) I was told to
F off so I hung up.
I always end up feel small pathetic and needy but I’m having real actual life challenges and have zero remote support just get told it’s all out of everyone s control so I won’t dwell. Easy enough when lockdown doesn’t impact in any way, I may very few demands and understand the travel that’s not the issue.
I am finding it hard to put into words what the actual problem is to be honest but being told to ef off because of something he thinks happens but sort of admits he could be wrong is really deflating.
I’m at my wits end and so angry but not a normal kind of angry as I’ve never been in this situation before.
I think lockdown is making me insane and I think maybe someone can shed some light, he’s being a bit of a bastard. I thought we were doing ok but the comment about well I have less motivation after what you did has really made me sit up. We aren’t obviously speaking now as he doesn’t like it when I get angry. I don’t like it when I get angry it’s out of character but it’s the same shit with him and in day out. He’s hugely avoidant which compounds matters.
My god that was long.