My exdh left in October (affair) and I have being quite numb to it all. I’ve started to have counselling and it’s being looking into my past to see why I have non existent boundaries and struggle to show my emotions and it’s made me realise that my parents where not there for me emotionally so I clung on to my ex and made him my family. When he cheated and left it wasn’t just losing a husband, it was loosing the one person I thought I could rely on. I feel so overwhelmed with everything, even though he also was never really there for me emotionally either. I’ve never had someone to just come in and take over, tell me everything’s going to be ok and help me and now that he’s gone everything has being amplified.
When we was together I had to sort everything, cooking, shopping, sorting bills etc so I’m not really sure what I’m actually missing. I guess it’s the little things, like someone else being here to help with the kids, to clean up, to think of what to have for tea etc
He is still in my life (it’s being very on and off - see above the no boundaries) and I think I haven’t told him to fuck off is because even though he’s treat me appallingly, he was my family. He was the one that I should have being able to go too.
I don’t really know what I’m asking here. Had a counselling session this morning and it’s making me open up more to the pain that he has caused me, the pain that I have numbed away.
I feel like since he left everything is just getting worse. I’m mentally exhausted from the situation, piling on weight, no energy to exercise etc
Anyone being in a similar position and come out if this on the other side ?