Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Numb to the pain

4 replies

Closedoff · 27/01/2021 10:46

My exdh left in October (affair) and I have being quite numb to it all. I’ve started to have counselling and it’s being looking into my past to see why I have non existent boundaries and struggle to show my emotions and it’s made me realise that my parents where not there for me emotionally so I clung on to my ex and made him my family. When he cheated and left it wasn’t just losing a husband, it was loosing the one person I thought I could rely on. I feel so overwhelmed with everything, even though he also was never really there for me emotionally either. I’ve never had someone to just come in and take over, tell me everything’s going to be ok and help me and now that he’s gone everything has being amplified.
When we was together I had to sort everything, cooking, shopping, sorting bills etc so I’m not really sure what I’m actually missing. I guess it’s the little things, like someone else being here to help with the kids, to clean up, to think of what to have for tea etc
He is still in my life (it’s being very on and off - see above the no boundaries) and I think I haven’t told him to fuck off is because even though he’s treat me appallingly, he was my family. He was the one that I should have being able to go too.

I don’t really know what I’m asking here. Had a counselling session this morning and it’s making me open up more to the pain that he has caused me, the pain that I have numbed away.
I feel like since he left everything is just getting worse. I’m mentally exhausted from the situation, piling on weight, no energy to exercise etc

Anyone being in a similar position and come out if this on the other side ?

OP posts:
Closedoff · 27/01/2021 12:09

Anyone?

OP posts:
JiminyLeeCricket · 27/01/2021 12:20

I think it's extremely dislocating to be on the wrong end of an affair.

Some people take a very long time to get over it, especially if he cheating partner is still in their lives for child contact.

What's your counsellor like? It can be really helpful, but also hard work tbh, when addressing big issues like boundaries.

GeeBranzi · 07/03/2021 05:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mundayblues · 07/03/2021 08:11

Do you need to be looking into your past right now?! I personally think you need to be focussing on you, the now, and your future. You’ve mentioned you are piling on weight and not exercising? Start there! Exercising will help you feel stronger and better. You’ve got your kids - you’ve got a family! You aren’t alone!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread