Trust and love after domestic violence

[afterlifee]

I left an abusive relationship 7/8 months ago, I have two children with him also. I always carry this awful feeling that no one will want me, but also I just can't shift the feeling I'll never be able to trust anyone, I want to love and be loved as I haven't felt love for such a long time but I just ask for any advice if you have been through the same or any advice please I just want to feel like I still have hope x

OP, sorry you're feeling low.

Have you had any counselling or done the Freedom Programme?

It's really important that you reset your boundaries and get to a good place before you start dating again, as it's really very common for people out of abusive relationships to fall into further abusive relationships, as their boundaries have been damaged by the abuse and it's like catnip to predatory people.

Please read the shark cage analogy here: www.oomm.live/the-shark-cage-metaphor-spotting-potential-abusers/ In particular the part about People with good shark cages will weigh any potential new relationship against how happy they already are and good boundaries to have.

There are plenty of men out there who will want you - what you need to realise is your own value and ensure you have high standards and a low tolerance for poor treatment and bullshit.

@category12 thank you for the link I will give that a read now! I've had both counselling, and a lovely police officer pointed me in the direction of the freedom programme and have her book.

I am normally quite a happy person, confident, very outgoing, could make friends with the wall but I definitely struggle with the thought of being able to trust again and just find it hard to think someone would actually want to love me, and if I do find that are they going to be abusive or mistreat? I will take a look at that link now!

Thank you so much for replying ❤️

I think you should work on those feelings that you are not lovable. You are. Feeling like that about yourself will make you vulnerable to users, losers and abusers and prone to cling on to anyone who gives you the crumbs of a relationship. You deserve the whole cake.