Is it normal to be overprotective of my new baby with MIL?

[blueskiesandapples]

I'm after some reassurance or hearing from others of their experience please.

I have a 2 week old baby who came two weeks early and everyone is besotted with them. We are obviously being incredibly careful because of the pandemic, but has anyone else experienced getting overprotective of their baby with their MIL? I've been fine with my parents and my FIL holding the baby but for some reason when it comes to my MIL I can't leave her alone for even a second, can't let her push the pram etc and I have no idea why. Something is making me go all momma bear and it's really upsetting my husband and MIL. Has anyone else had this? If so what did you do to overcome it or did it just get easier? X

Yes I could have written this!!!!😂😂😂 and I think it’s the over bearing thing and hovering that triggers it as I had the same with another family member and not with people acting normal just wanting a hold (pre pandemic) pregnant with my second and dreading that part again with said family member!

I dread my son having a child 😩

...everyone is besotted with them

How many? You started off saying you had a two week baby and now it seems more.

I can understand you being very protective over her or him, that's quite natural. You are the baby's mother and instinctively know how to hold, etc, but I don't get why particularly so with mother in law. I hope you doesn't notice. This will pass anyway.

(I presume everyone is Covid free)

You're doing fine, don't worry. Your dh & mil need to understand that with a baby that young, your overwhelming instinct is to protect. That's a good thing.
The feeling will ease after a couple of months but until then they need to respect your very natural reaction.
Congratulations.

Yes. I went through this with my MIL. She is over-the-top though. It was always "my turn to hold her" "that friend of yours sees MY grandchild more than I do" and then she would indirectly have digs at me for waking my child up to feed her by saying "my poor baby, mummy waking you up again."

I didn't want MILs hands or face anywhere near her. But things worsened and she proved herself to be a complete psycho. She even registered my baby as living at her address when she got her first library card. Such a weird woman.

I think MILs can go a bit like this when it's not their daughter having the baby through fear of being pushed out. I think your feelings are normal as it's another Mother muscling in on your baby.

With the pandemic, you have the perfect excuse to keep her away more. Are you seeing her too often perhaps? Maybe if you only saw her once a week, you would be happy for her to push the pram? Can you bubble up with your own family so that she has to keep her distance?

Just to add, there's plenty of time for grandparents. The newborn phase is for Mum and Dad.

Lockdown or not, in the middle of a global infectious disease pandemic I wouldn't be letting anyone outside household family close to my newborn baby until they were at least a few months old because their immune system is still delicate.

Also don't know why you didn't mention MIL's behaviour in the original post as that's clearly why you feel uncomfortable about her...

Should she be visiting like this? Should she be getting so close, now of all times?

Speak to your husband and see if you can cut down on her visits. Just say you're thinking about covid. Then after that, you need to proactively manage the dates you see her so you they're spaced further apart, but when she does come around, just let her be herself.

@Notawanker Strange. Did she get extra benefits of services from the library if she did that? I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt lol. Maybe she really was strange!