Hi all, I need some advice. Just ended my relationship with my soul mate. He's everything I ever wanted but the trust has gone. 2 months ago I found a few flirty messages to a girl on his phone who I never knew about. They've been chatting on and off for 15 years but he never mentioned her to me untill I saw a flirty ent from her on his fb wall.
The last message I saw to her was him telling her he has a girlfriend (I.e me,). She replies with "can't you stay single for 5 minutes so we can meet without me having to be worried about jealous girlfriends" to which he replies "why do you want to bounce around with me a bit 😈😜".... Every message after that had been deleted.
I also saw she's tried calling him at 2am facetiming and they play on the ps4 gaming together. She lives abroad. He was devestated when found out and said its just" banter". Since then I have been constantly digging for more lies and deceit.
We currently live long distance but we're planning to move in together, he even met my kids 😢.
I gave him another chance but he keeps lying all the time... For example he has an ex that wanted him to collect a few belongings of his from hers recently. I asked him if he'd had any contact with her at all. He said no honestly I haven't. Then I said oh OK, when are you getting ur stuff then. He then said, oh I've already got it. So after alot of arguing I found that he had text her 10 days ago, gone round there and collected his stuff, but none of the messages to her or from her exist anymore. He apparently delete the out if respect for me lol. And he said he forgot he had gone round there which is why he said he'd had no contact and thought I meant in the regularly talking sense.
I feel like he's constantly bullshitting me. He has an ex he's mates with that he meets for coffee and they chat regular, an ex he goes for walks with an ex he shares a dog with.
I feel like I've really had enough of mentally keeping up with this all, but he love bombs me. He says he wants marriage, I'm his only one, he's my soul mate, they are just friends, I'm paranoid etc.... And that he would move hundreds of miles to be with me tomorrow if I asked him too.
He's on twitter, insta, fb, WhatsApp and god knows what other social media so it wouldn't be hard to cheat even being with me where I live.
I feel like the above is all too much but I'm 40, I've been alone for 10 years and we connect on every level. Would you give him another chance?? Oh and he also wants a child