Taking a break

[Mumtothethreeamigos]

Posted here a while ago about my bf saying he wants time out and needs a break. He won’t tell me how long but says he still loves me but doesn’t know if he’s ready for any relationship. He was widowed three years ago and when we started arguing he says it’s opened a raw nerve. I have very bad anxiety and have lost a stone in three weeks with the nerves of not knowing what he will say after the break. I’ve begged for a decision and he just says he needs more time. He hadn’t told his kids it’s over which makes me think he is thinking things through. How long would you leave it and do you think it’s a fair reaction to some minor disagreements and misunderstandings? We were together a year before this break. I’m losing the plot and just feel sick.

Hey thanks for checking in. I ended it. I feel like crap but he said he needed more time. He said he’d be grateful if I could let him take another month. I said I couldn’t. So it ended. Totally confusing and hard to understand but it’s done and I at least can start to try and move on. It’s tough as his daughter is devastated.

So he turned up on my doorstep today in floods of tears saying he has been stubborn and he still loves me and misses me. He deals with things alone and always has. I don’t know what to think now 😩

Keep the space. Tell him he wanted a month originally, so take it and then see how YOU feel about whether you miss him or not.

Everyone gets feelings of regret at a week on. I was still having doubts about finally leaving my physically abusive exGF a week after; it’s just human nature to have short term doubts.

Sorry if it's been said already but listen to "a little time" by The Beautiful South. It fits this perfectly.

He made his bed OP
He needs to be careful what he asks for in future.
Now go and enjoy your freedom of choice 👍🏻

Thanks guys. Great advice as always. Why is it so hard to let go of toxic people 😩

So when you were upset about how he was wanting space he was quite happy to let you sit there on your own. When you said, after a few weeks, that you’d had enough of hanging around and needed a decision he wouldn’t give you one. Yet now you’ve started to get your head together and move on he thinks he can come round crying and expects you to change your mind!! He’s a cheeky sod. Tell him if he always deals with things in his own way he can go and deal with this! It’s over. He’d only pull this trick again in the future. You need someone that considers you and discusses things. I know it’s hard, but don’t move backwards.

Gees, get rid!

They always come back when you no longer want them 🤷‍♀️
What he did was cruel trying to get you waiting on him, unfortunately issues are very hard to solve with ex's, if you entertain the idea of getting back then he is willing to bring what you need to the relationship I wonder.

I’ve moved on mentally. It’s over for me. I think he realises this now. Thanks all! If this ever happens with someone else I will remember this thread and how you were all right! Thanks!

In the same boat, it hurts, I wish you the best.

So, have you ended it?

Take back control and bin him for good.