Do some women bring out the romantic in a man and others do not?

[Ellena646]

Hi, so I've got Covid and have been sick for over two weeks. I'm in a long-distance relationship with a man, and before restrictions at the end of October we were seeing each other every weekend but now are relying on FaceTime, phone and WhatsApp. I know that he sent his ex - also a long-distance relationship - flowers all of the time because she has a public Facebook page and she would post them, and although I do know it's not healthy I did snoop and wow, he sent her a lot of flowers, just because, but also if she was even the slightest bit sick. He hasn't sent me any, and I am wondering if I'm feeling low about this because I feel really low anyway at the moment, or if anyone else has been with a man who was very romantic with past lovers but not with them? Should I worry about that? It's not a deal breaker, my ex was unromantic too and we were together twenty years, I am just not sure if I should read anything into it or not, like she brought out the romantic in him and I don't?

i understand how you feel. my ex was not romantic at all. he was very practical. if i needed him to help me fix my car he would. if i needed him to fix something in my house he would do it. if i needed money he would give it to me. and i guess i wouldve been fine with that if he was affectionate and tender and loving but he wasn't. he wasn't even verbally affectionate. it was like being with a good friend.

even our first dates i felt like we were just friends meeting up for food and drink. it was strange as i have NEVER been on such an unromantic first date in my life. even one of my first dates was playing golf and it was more romantic. lol over time it just ate at me and my feelings for him changed because i never felt like he loved me as he only knew how to show it by fixing my car lol

oh and i forgot to say, i would give this guy a little bit of time as you just started dating, but i find most men are more romantic at the beginning of a relationship so if he's not show it now, then he probably never will.

Sorry but don't be fooled by social media it's bullshit in every sense.

My exh and I were very demonstrative on fb. He was quite abusive and it was a failed marriage. Anyone dating him and seeing his Facebook would think we were very romantic and show off about it.

My dp now is very romantic but there isn't a trace of our relationship on sm. not even a status. Dp doesn't not struggle with buying gifts or appropriate gestures so I assume he's done it in previous relationships!

I think you need to evaluate your relationship on its own merits x

So sorry to hear nevernotstruggling about your abusive partner and so pleased you are now with a better man. Thank you for sharing your insight re. online relationships. I also I agree re. the amount of time we have been together, talking for three months and actually dating for four isn't very long, although he claims I am 'the love of his life' which I suppose if I choose to believe it, throws more shade on the disparity between his affection for her, and me. Especially as mentioned here, you'd expect more romance at the beginning of a relationship for sure but we are in very odd times at the moment...

My DH used to buy me flowers fairly regularly but then admitted that my favourite lilies really aggravated his asthma. I told him to stop buying them. I was more touched by the fact he was actually suffering as a result of demonstrating his feelings.
Some women are very demanding with regard to romantic gestures. I prefer the more personal, subtle love gestures, the ones you can’t share on FB.
I’d be seriously worried about our relationship if my DH started to communicate his feelings via FB. He’d be mortified if I posted about any romantic gesture he makes.