I did a name change for this.
I don't know where to begin because it's so long. About 7 years ago there was a row at home when both me and my sister were living at home. I can't remember what it was about anymore. I think it was: me having a busy schedule for a few weeks in the run up to Christmas and my sister was the opposite and she was unemployed and at home. She was being sarcastic one night after work and I didn't like her tone or her attitude and I snapped. The next day I thought about the night before and I was in the wrong to get angry at her. I think a lot of it had roots in me being busy for a few weeks. I thought I would apologise in the evening after work that day, but work kept me late until 8 or 9 and when I got home I was too tired to address the night before and I decided to wait til the weekend. The next day was a Friday I think, I was looking forward to getting off for the weekend. By evening time I was still in work though and it was nearly 9 by the time I finished. At that stage my sister was blowing up my phone with some bad messages about what happened the night before last. I didn't have time to text her and to address it. I was stuck in work. The next day was Saturday and I spent the day cleaning up and doing jobs after the week and getting ready for the week ahead. I tried to talk but she didn't want to know. She didn't want to hear me and she ignored me. I decided to leave some space because that's what was needed. That time where the space was needed, I was busy at work and she was brewing and stewing in silence. Come the Christmas time she was even talking to me. I tried to talk but she didn't want to hear me.
I can remember an episode during that time where I came home and I went to the room and I discovered she locked me out from the room. We shared the room and she locked me out. She refused to let me even get a change of clothes and I had to sleep in the spare room. Even after a number of days, I didn't even have a change of clothes. I remember blowing up, just so I can be allowed to pack some of my things into a bag and move them into the spare room. She claimed she felted threatened of her life from me at that point even though I never threatened her. I needed some clothes and she was blowing it out of proportion. That was nasty. I remember at the time the smell that came from my crotch from wearing the same clothes for nearly a week.
After that I kept out of her way. Eventually Christmas came and I got a week off work. The night before I was due back at work, she waited for our parents to go to bed to start a fight with me. I was in the kitchen working on a hobby and she came into the kitchen and started throwing everything out from the cutlery drawer. She had a particular knife and she was looking for the knife. You were able to cut the atmosphere with a knife that night. She didn't stop there, she was raging but kept as quiet as possible to spit poison in my face about that knife. She stormed about the kitchen saying:
'you have my knife, where is it, you have my knife, where is it, you have my knife, where is it, its in your bag, it's in your bag, it's in your bag, it's in your bag'
I would said I don't have her knife and I don't have it in my bag.
Eventually she moved onto to saying
'show me, show me, show me,
Get your bag, get your bag, get your bag, empty it'.
She had me down on my knees in the kitchen in tears apologising over and over and dumping everything that I owned on the floor to show her that I don't have her knife.
Eventually she said something like
'oops, I got that wrong, sorry about that, see I can say sorry, why can't you?' then she referred to the night that we had that row a number of weeks before.
I saw crazy in her face that night.
In the months that followed I stayed out of her way. I was busy with work. She continued to ignore me. I remember an episode where she came to me one night after work and she said - this is stupid between us, can we move one. It was late at night and I was genuinely tired. I was working all day, I said something like she's right, it's silly, let's move on, I'm sorry, I late now and I'm tired. She took the ending from me as me dismissing her. That wasn't true. It was genuinely late at night, I was eating my dinner before going to bed.
A lot of my days after that was filled with me being busy and working hard and sometimes having some long days.
In the spring time, she moved out because she found a new job. She started texted me abusive messages - 'you're dead to me' and so much more abusive messages. She filed every row that we had growing up and she flung everything back into me at that time - eg you, you, you, you, you, you, you. There was so much blame from her. Nevermind she would played her own part in them rows. I decided not to reply because I can't fix them old rows. They really shouldn't have been an issue but she made sure to bring up old rows and make it a problem.
All these years later, she's pretty much in the same position being angry and hostile to me. I've since changed my number but she used other avenues. Not only that, she fell out with others in the family too for other different reasons, not related to me. Shes done some despicable acts of revenge over the years.
All this is bothering me now because its been so long and there's new fresh shit from her in recent times. For example I got some mail in the post before the Christmas and there was no name in the mail. There was nothing threatening as such. It was a Bible in the mail. I think it came from her, where she signed me up for a bible in the mail. Another time I got other material in the mail that I didn't sign up for like jehovah witness stuff. When we were on good terms together, I told her of a person I was involved with. She didn't know know. I only ever told her about him. We weren't ever together as such. A few weeks ago, I got a mail and it was a print off page of his face, perhaps from his Facebook. I don't know. I suspect it came from her because in some of her messages she made sure to bring him up into it. Even though he never played a part in our downfall, my sister made sure to use him as an argument to fling back into my face.
She hates me. Everything she sent me over the past half a decade was messages of filth, revenge, insults. On another hand then, reading between the lines she wants me to fix things between us.
I genuinely extended the olive branch a few yeses ago. About 3 or 4 years. She was message bombing my phone and clearly struggling, and I calmly and politely tried to address some of her issues that she has with me. Like she wanted me to explain some things and I really tried to work with her but she wasn't having any of it either. I tried to fix things that night and that's what she was looking for too and in the end she ran everything around into circles, twisted everything and told me to go and sink in my shit. So she wsnted me to engage with her, fix things with her and when I tried, she flung everything back into my face.
Another sibling extended the olive branch to her too and wrote her a letter and she responded with - 'I don't know what you are hoping to achieve with your letter'.
She wanted us to fix things and when we tried it wasn't enough for her.
She's impossible to get along with. She's not physically in any of our lives any more but she won't leave us alone electronically. We have done what we can, changing numbers and limiting social media but she still finds a way. For example, she remembered the friends my brother went to school with and started sending them messages about our brother that she doesn't like. She really hadn't the right to go down that route and drag other people into this shit. It was a smear campaign in the hope of breaking up his friend network.
When she was living at home, she was never diagnosed with a personality disorder but at this stage, I think there is something at play. The prolonged and intense anger in her world and in her eyes everybody is wrong except for her.
She's a bully. She tried to humiliate us and shame us to our friends, employers, others in the family.
She won't leave us alone.