How to not taking ghosting personally- feeling low and in a funk

[piddocktrumperiness]

Hi all
I've matched with a guy in September last year and we went on several dates. He was lovely and as we lived in different cities, lockdown restrictions made it difficult to meet up. We'd text regularly, and watch films in real time, that kind of thing. He was very verbally affectionate and considerate which was lovely. Late November I noticed his communication became more sporadic and called him to check if all was ok. I communicated to him that to get to know someone I need to be able to connect, be it face to face, chat, text or whatever and I do not want to be strung along. I told him my flirty messages weren't reciprocated. He apologised and said lockdown has made things harder. I asked if he'd like to continue for use to get to know each other, that warrants further communication and effort and he said yes he he does and that he always has a lovely time with me.

His communication improved a little straight after that but again, became inconsistent- I gave him the excuse that it's a busy time, he's got 3 older teens that he sees often so I let the overthinking go. He had mentioned he'd like to see me but then the lockdown at Christmas happened.

He wished me a happy new year and said he hopes to see me again in 2021, I said similar. He'd mentioned in passing that I had gone quiet as he had instigated the last few conversations but I honestly hadn't, I was mirroring his efforts as it was usually me carrying the conversation and starting them.

Anyway, we average a text conversation every few days but I have not heard from him at all in a week. I started the conversation last, on the weekend, and we talked about my art class that I just started- I sent him a stick drawing of him to show my progress, and the chat was light and cheeky. Then the momentum stopped, and he didn't send another text to carry the conversation on.

I do this thing where I delete the chat or number when I'm pissed off so I did that midweek. Out of sight out of mind. BUT HE'S LIVING RENT FREE IN MY HEAD HAHAHA

I'm telling myself he's ghosted me and have been crying and beside myself because I have no idea what I have done. I can't even send him an "I'm done this isn't working" text because I deleted his number.

I've no one to talk to so I though I'd have a little rant here.
Thanks for reading.

Has he got your number?
Who text last?

Yes you're being naive! He's not interested and you're liable to end up blocked by him which will make you feel worse. Walk away now with your dignity.

I say this as someone who was ghosted by a man I'd been in a physical relationship with for 4 months. It hurts. It still does now. He doesn't deserve your attentions; please find someone who does

Ok I won't. Thank you all.

@ThatVeganFeminist- he does yes. Our last conversation volley was a week ago and my message was last.

No, don't text him. If he contacts you, take it from there. You feel a bit crap now, imagine how much crapper you will feel if he ignores your text. As people have said, this is a weird time, people are starting to feel lethargic about life because of winter and covid. This is not a good time to start looking for an in-depth relationship. It's a fake situation at the moment for everybody. You don't know whether he feels crap, or just not into you. Just let it play out without trying to force the issue.

He'll text you if he wants to. And if he does after a week or more then he should be explaining why.

This happens to the best of us - it really isn't you! My lovely DH had it happen to him in a relationship before me. Iirc, they'd been together 2 years and she just dropped off the planet. He was calling hospitals! He finally managed to reach her parents and she'd gone on a night out which turned super wild with drugs and she then went on a drugs binge for months on end. Scary stuff!!