How to get rid of sex drive?

[CandyTiger2]

I'm talking about getting rid of the desire to have sex and be close with another human in that way. Not just 'getting off'.

For boring reasons I won't go into, I don't have anyone I can be with in this way, and I wouldn't ever go on a dating app (personal choice). I lived in a sexless marriage for years, and got semi used to living the life of a nun. While it's ok 90% of the time, some nights I do still feel a strange loneliness and that makes me feel extremely pathetic. I know I shouldn't want or need another person to make me feel happy and fulfilled, so I feel cross with myself for feeling like that. Plus I should be used to being alone by now.

I am feeling anxious and depressed about life generally, so I'm considering asking my GP for antidepressants - I have been on them in the past and it may kill two birds with one stone, as it lowers sex drive too.

Can anyone recommend anything else - maybe a therapy book or something, that can change ones mindset?

Cat or a dog? Make up for the loss of affection?

I have children so they make up for the loss from my husband but once they grow up and leave home, that is my plan.

A bit pathetic, I know.

Fab swingers?
This seems to be the thing these days!

It isn't pathetic at all. I always have a cat and they really do make life better.

I second pets. They are actually more fulfilling, in many ways. The boundaries are so clear- your cat will ignore you when she feels like it, but that won't upset you because you know it's nothing personal. Your dog will follow you around enthusiastically and be underfoot, but again it's ok. People who do either are far more annoying.

And some self care. When this lockdown business lifts, build self care in. Facials, massage, spa, meals out or great take aways. Go on date nights with yourself- a tub of Ben and Jerry's and a new film etc.

It sounds a bit twee, but building in opportunities to be nice to yourself are important.

Antidepressants are pretty effective. Also birth control pills (and I think there are some health benefits to taking those as well?)

Chocolate helps decreases drive helped me

I don’t think you can ignore the desire to be close to someone. You can accept the situation but I don’t know how you’d fulfil the missing intimacy and having that physical connection.