A question for those who are single by choice...

[JustWonderingAboutSomething]

I know there are many women who post on here who are single by choice.

In many cases, it seems to be a result of being treated badly once too often by men and a choice made in self preservation. In some cases, women seem to have genuinely chosen, for whatever reason, to remain single and maintain that there is
nothing and no one who would deter them from that path.

I just wondered how you would feel, or what you would do, if someone asked you out?

I don't mean being asked for your number by a drunk bloke in the pub or whatever. I suppose I just wondered how many women who are single through choice would remain resolutely so if they met someone who seemed to be decent and with whom they had a mutual attraction.

Would you give it a go? Would your past experiences be enough to make you project into the future and still say no? Would the impact on your life be so great that you genuinely can't imagine where someone else would fit in? Or are you so sure of it that it wouldn't even get that far because you'd shut anything/anyone down before it had chance to begin?

Single for seven years now. If I guy I found attractive asked me out, I’d take him up on the offer. Probably sleep with him, if the sex was good then have another few dates. Then probably find a reason I didn’t want to pursue it and not see them any more. Then I’d probably turn down any dates until I really wanted sex again.

I feel relieved not to have to have sex again. For me it's a positive choice. I genuinely do not want to be that intimate with anyone ever again. Can't really explain other than saying I am relieved by knowing I can make that choice. But then again I have 2 children and am post menopausal so I am safe in the knowledge that my choice does not affect my chances at motherhood. When I think about going on a date I think I'd just be with a man who was there to see if he could get sex or develop a relationship with sex as a part of it. So no, don't think I would. Happy going out with my friends when we're allowed again. Happy to be alone at home as well. Can afford to keep my own roof pver my head and feed my children. Once it dawned on me that I'm in a position to make the choice not to be in a relationship I felt empowered and relieved.

@Resistthethoughtpolice I’m also (hopefully) at the end of the menopause , child is an adult, I am financially stable , I have friends, I can only see a romantic relationship as a hindrance to my life.

I’m single by choice. I’ve just spent the past 10 years in a bad relationship, so I need to find myself again and love myself again before I bring anyone else in to my life who is supposed to love me. I want to be single for a few years while my children are still little. If someone asked me out right now and he was a decent man, I’d have to turn him down because I really have no space in my life for dating right now. No strings stuff is different though....I think.

In a few years, when things have improved in my mind and when my children are older, I hope I do find my dream man.

I guess you could say I’m single through choice. I’m a lone parent to 4 kids so don’t have the time to date, I’ve been single for 4 years, if someone asked me out I would say no.

I think that he'd have to burst into my life, with a panache that completely took my breath away, in order for me to consider it.

I'm really happy being single: it's gonna take something amazing to move me away from that.

But if it fills you with dread and you believe you will be single forever, that doesn't sound like a true 'choice'. A genuine, "I'm never going to be in a relationship again because I enjoy being single too much and there is nothing that anyone else could add to my life," decision.

I don't think a wanting-to--avoid-the-bollox choice is less of a choice.

If a man was attractive and seemed respectful and not sexually pushy I might go for it and date them etc. I'd never live with someone though, as I like my own space.

I use a magic wand vibrator so don't need my sex drive satisfied by anyone else.

I'm bi so I hope to only date women maybe, but not feeling any need for anything right now.

I can't see the point of having a relationship as I'm past the menopause now and don't want to have sex any more.
I wouldn't live with a man either because all they seem to want is a servant, someone to cook and clean for them and I am a professional woman not a maid.
I have male friends I go out with who know better than to try anything on. I'm much happier on my own with my cats.

I'm single by choice.
Having had two dreadful relationships as an adult i made the decision 7 years ago when I didn't trust myself to make good decisions.
However as time has gone on I've found I like my own company, I'm pretty independent and can't see any gap in my life that needs a man to fill it.
The thought of sharing my time, space and money now is repulsive to me so no matter how much I liked someone I think I'd still stay single as I like it so much.

If it was someone really nice who I was attracted to then yes, in a heartbeat. However I don’t think I’m so much single by choice but just not willing to just settle or force anything just for the sake of being with someone as I don’t mind being on my own. I think being with the wrong person is just beyond horrible and I am happy being single apart from the constant questions, pressure and assumptions from people, however I would actually love to meet someone I really like and genuinely want to be with, that’s ultimately what I want. In the meantime happy to me my sweet single self, just need to get a bit more confident in dealing with stuff people think and say. Hope this makes sense.

Came across this thread in advanced search. Interesting. After several bad experiences, I'm ultra cautious about befriending men, let alone going on dates.

As much as I enjoy being on my own and independent, it saddens me that I may never be able to bring myself to take even the shortest leap of faith with a man again due to my deep seated mistrust of them.

This is an empowering thread. I've been reading, listening and watching a lot of stuff about how we are all socialised to believe that coupledom is preferable when science, data, and fact suggests otherwise. It is great to hear all you women state strongly that you are staying single for you.

I’m single by choice, but I’m open to a relationship if I met the right person. So if someone asked me out and I was interested in them then I’d say yes and see where it went.

However, this is with the strong proviso that I’m quite happy as I am so it would have to be someone I liked a LOT for it to feel like it was worth changing my life for. I’m not prepared to compromise.