I am engaged to my partner. In 2019 I found saw on his phone he had accidentally screenshot his phone on a website that was a chat site. When confronted he denied anything untoward and said it was for chatting. I did “forgot password” and it linked to his phone, got to the account and it had nothing interesting. So I let it go but my suspicions remained.
In May 2020 in lockdown, I grew suspicious of his phone behaviour. He was never secretive with it and let me look. Thanks to a new iOS it showed what he had been on - the website. I couldn’t figure out his account as the point of the chat site is anonymity - no real names etc. Eventually he came clean, told me it all, gave me the account, I read it, wasn’t nice and I decided, if he didn’t go on it again and if he made an effort, we can try to figure it out.
Since then he has. He’s let me do everything, I see his phone constantly, he’s careful to tell me things. I thought that any issues were mine to work through.
Disclaimer: I carried an extreme amount of baggage into the relationship and the reason I thought I’d give him a chance is because of that.
Now: I just got a weird feeling / panic. I have since May had access to his account. Nothing has happened much. One woman messaged him asking how he was (around June 2020) and how I was (she knew all) and responded a bit (I pretended to be him to see if she’d reveal any details) but then just dropped off the face of the Earth. At the time I wondered if maybe he had got in touch with her to tell her I had his account / don’t respond.
So now, I did a “forgot password” using his email. I did this ages back, he’d used a fake email address so it had always said “no user found”. But this time it said it had been sent. I went on his emails and it had a password reset link. I went into his account but nothing there. The website gives you points based on how much you speak, he had 0 points (I don’t know what that truly means though and if you can delete this evidence)
I asked him, he got so angry, has gone to spare room, has said he’s been so transparent since May and has been honest and done everything I’ve asked but is “done”. It is pretty much how he behaved when I found out, but a few minutes later he did tell the truth.
Now the reason I’m not sure what it means is that I messed around with accounts and his email a lot - it’s not entirely impossible that I created this account when investigating. I’m pretty certain I didn’t though, the username is not one I’d come up with.
I don’t know what to do or what it means. I want to get to the bottom of it but can’t unless he comes clean - if he has lied.