Can sex ever be a compromise?

[Iamaperson21]

Should you be willing to do it once in a while to make the other person happy even if you don't want to because relationships are a compromise? Is the one saying no holding the power over the other person and either giving or taking away their happiness?

I think choosing to have sex even if you could take it or leave it on that particular occasion but know it will make your partner happy is absolutely a great thing to do.

@BubblyBarbara

Disability and illness or age are exceptions. I think 99% of people couldn't deal with lack of interest from the other person.

62% of adults in the UK are in priority groups 1-9 for the vaccine, meaning they're either over 50 or are vulnerable/ill. I think there are a lot more settled couples not having sex than you might think when only 38% of adults are both young and healthy.

You completely missed what I was saying.

Health and disability and age are reasons for lack of intimacy that anyone loving would understand.

Lack of interest is completely different, and 99 percent of people would walk

@joystir59

I think choosing to have sex even if you could take it or leave it on that particular occasion but know it will make your partner happy is absolutely a great thing to do.

Even when he threatens he'll leave you and never see his kids if you don't?

That's not a compromise.
He's willing to use your body and doesn't give a fuck about you as his wife, an actual person he's supposed to respect and care for..
I'd be thinking about more than a trial separation in your place.
He's threatening to walk out on his kids if he doesn't get his end away? Words fail me.

@joystir59

I think choosing to have sex even if you could take it or leave it on that particular occasion but know it will make your partner happy is absolutely a great thing to do.

That’s really not what is happening here. Have you not RTFT?

Basically if I don't give him what he wants he will leave and never see the kids.

So using his relationship with his own children as blackmail to make you fuck him? What a shit dad.

I couldn't be in a sexless relationship, I couldn't do it. But I would never use the threat of a parental relationship (or anything!) to have sex with someone.

It's gross he's making you feel that if you don't snag him your kids will miss out on a dad. What a douche.

I wouldn't want to be in a sex less relationship. But it sounds like you don't want to be in this relationship. So the question is null and void. No relationship = no sex. Why prolong the inevitable?

Yes I agree, that's not what's happening here, sorry

I would never tell DP this but I not a big fan of sex (nothing to do with him, I just have a few issues and don't enjoy it) but I see it as trade off to get to be with him. It would be unfair of me to refuse sex so I go along with it to keep him happy. I think he'd be really upset if he knew how I feel.

Maybe he's faking it too, gatlctwist. How would you ever know?

There’s obviously other issues in your relationship besides sex - sex is the issue for him (as your not particularly keen) but what are the issues for you? Focus on those, write them down And consider each one - it’ll help you see more clearly. The decision is yours 💐