Odd Phone Behaviour?

[SingSweetNightingale]

Wondering what your thoughts are on this...

Been with DP for 3 years. He’s a fantastic partner, father, everything. Can’t fault him really.

Only thing that niggles me is the way he is with his phone. He’s always been this way but it’s started to concern me.
He’s cagey with it. Wont let me on it, hold it, see a photo he’s taken etc. I’ve asked him about it in the past and he just says he’s always been like that and not sure why. I asked if he’s hiding anything and he said no.
Recently the issue came up again and I said it was really bothering me. I said I don’t think it’s normal behaviour if he has nothing to hide. At that point as he could see I was so upset he agreed he is probably a bit OTT and will be more open if it makes me feel better. He’s given me his password (not that I asked for it or want to go through his phone) and said if I need to use it for something then I can.

Obviously this is good and makes me feel better but I just can’t understand why for the past 3 years he’s been cagey and secretive if he’s had nothing to hide. I’ve had no other reason whatsoever to think he’s playing away or betraying me.

AIBU or do you think he’s been doing things he shouldn’t?

@Lovelydiscusfish

My response earlier was brief and sketchy.

To give some examples of why I wouldn’t want my fella to have my password:

A) - my closest girlfriends sometimes text me about deeply personal problems and stuff. I wouldn’t go sharing them with him or anyone else. Not that I imagine he would care or be especially interested. But it seems disloyal to my friends.

B - even tho he is pretty bloody perfect, I occasionally get pissed off by things he does, and might text a close girlfriend to sound off about it, or discuss it. I absolutely reserve that right! Doesn’t mean I don’t adore him to death (I do) but nobody is perfect! And in my opinion it strengthens a relationship if you can occasionally bitch a little about the annoying bits of your partner to a friend, vent and get perspective, rather than feeling the immediate need to crawl up his/her arse about them. But would I want him to read this? No! Because he is fucking lovely, so why would I want him to be mithered by some petty gripes about him I have at my PMT worst? My best friend can suck those up! It’s her job - I do the same for her......

C) my internet search history is personal. I am not looking up anything dodgy, but just because I love him, doesn’t mean he gets to see every single thought I have ever had, however vague, erratic or sillly! And it would include, tor example, me looking up possible birthday gifts for him..... My phone is personal to me - like a private diary, say......

This is exactly how I feel too.

I'd personally find it odd. My dh and I use each other's phones all the time. We just grab whichever is closest to us at the time.

Is he cagey or have you been trying to get access to it but he won't allow it? There is a difference.

I don't give DH access to my phone because it has personal stuff on there that is none of his business. Nothing for him to worry about, I just don't want anyone reading my private stuff. DS does play games on it sometimes though, but I know he won't go through my phone as DH might (he has insecurity issues and would question me on things).
Like others have said, it feels like how you would about a personal diary, it's private and should stay that way. Besides, why would you want to read what's on anyone else's phone?