I ended it, did I do the right thing?

[lovecookiedough]

I recently ended a relationship of nearly two years together. He was a few years younger than me but not that much, I think the emotionally maturity was the biggest difference, he was into gaming and would nothing of spending 3 hours straight doing this, whilst he loved it. It wasn't a passion of mine so I was left out not wanting to be around him when he's doing that, when he's not doing that then he's glued to Facebook.

Sex life was not great, we didn't live together and only saw each other at the weekend, he was only up for it once at the weekend, if I wanted more I would have to initiate it, sometimes got turned down.

At the beginning when first dating I got lots of compliments, then they stopped, in fact he started insulting me, one day he said I looked like shit then pretended it was a joke, would criticise what I wore, the furniture in my house was never good enough.

Through the week, we messaged sometimes I felt he couldn't be bothered that much.

When I ended it, he wouldn't accept that I found his lack of attention was his problem and that I'm some sort of kill joy that I expect too much. I don't expect to spend every minute with someone but if you only see them at the weekend they should want to spend time with you.

I feel confused and mean that I ended it, he said he is so hurt by it, I guess I feel guilty but should I be?

Why feel guilty? He’s an immature dick.

Don't beat yourself up over this.

Anyone who alternates between 3 hour gaming sessions and being 'glued to FB' isn't mature enough to be in a relationship.

Move on and find someone who values you.

You can end a relationship for any reason. The most notable is "I don't want to be in this relationship with them". You can end a relationship because they slurp tea or their face pisses you off, anything.

He can find a woman that likes gaming or being ignored. You aren't that woman. Doesn't mean you have to change.

I'd be tempted to say, "yeah, also the sex was shit" but I'm a mean person.

You did the right thing. You were together a relatively short time and that was how he acted, just imagine what he would be like in 5,10,15 years.
You will feel better about the break up with time. Just remember you deserve more than a relationship like that.

Why on earth would you feel guilty? You were barely more than an afterthought to him and the relationship was shit. You should have ended it a long time ago, honestly.

No way! Don’t let him guilt trip you into accepting his shit behaviour and lack of sex drive!

Thank you, it's good to know others wouldn't put up with it either, he made me feel so bad for it and yes I'm wishing I did end it sooner too.

You've not just done the right thing, you've done the only rational thing you could in that situation

Well done, you did the right thing.

He sounds like one of those people who suck all the joy out of life.

It’s not a case of right or wrong, simply that you’re incompatible. If he’s not offering what you need then you are right to end it.

I had a similar scenario. Partner of 4 years, only saw each other at weekends which was fine, very attentive etc and can't fault him there.
Week days consisted of chain Netflix and games console.. Didn't affect me face to face as such as I wasn't there but I was made to feel like an inconvenience if I called at say 7, he'd say 'you've 6 minutes then dinners ready'.. I write that now and think??!
There was other stuff. I asked for a break and haven't heard from him since.
As someone above said you can end for whatever reason you want and it sounds like it just wasn't working for you.

Christ you've definitely done the right thing! What a knob! Now do the next right thing and tell him not to contact you again and block his number etc! You deserve (and will at some point find) someone much better than this

When I ended it, he wouldn't accept that I found his lack of attention was his problem and that I'm some sort of kill joy that I expect too much.
His lack of attention wasn't a problem to him - just to you. And as you've broken up with him, it's no longer a problem to you. So all is well.
It's just not worth giving people reasons why you are leaving them. They probably won't learn, and even if they do, you've ended it so you won't get anything out of it. Might as well just say "It's not working for me" - they can't argue with that, and the less arguing involved the better.

He sounds horrible and half- hearted about the relationship.
As others have said, you can end a relationship whenever and for whatever reason you like - it's not compulsory to be in one.

Yes you've done the right thing OP. Onward to someone without the emotional intelligence of a amoeba.

Good luck.