Divorce - can he just decide he wants to see the children more?

[Vigorothello]

Just that really - we had agreed EOW but suddenly he wants them in the week now they’re off school. I’m not happy about this. Can he just unilaterally decide? How do I stop him?

Vigorothello totally understand that. My mum took a long time to recover from the trauma of being my father who was abusive and controlling.

Just tell him "yes fine but you'll have to do the collecting/returning". Then you'll not see him for dust.

Thankyou

Is there any downside to having court ordered contact? Assuming it’s initiated by me?

Vigorothello you do nothing. You have an arrangement and he sees them eow. If he wants more and its not reasonable you say no, stick to your arrangement, keep a record of his contact, requests for any changes and emails etc. He can take you to court not the other way round. Your not doing anything wrong

@Vigorothello I guess the downside is that youd be giving him a new arena in which to bully you/make your life difficult. Inertia is a good weapon. Let him make the effort to initiate court proceedings if he wants an order, chances are he wont. Keep a record of ongoing harassment and times he's cancelled contacts in case you ever need one. Ideally deal with him only in writing so you have a record.

If I wait for him to get this court ordered, doesn’t that mean that in between times he could come and just get them?

you could go to court for a residency order. Then you wouldnt have to worry about him not returning your child and having some stability for your DC