My partner and I were together only a short time when I got pregnant (we used condoms for the most part and I have PCOS so didn’t think the risk was high). However, fast forward a year and we have an absolutely adorable baby boy who we both love to bits. We live together and have overcome our fair share of obstacles in our time together. We have a good laugh and a good chat. But since the baby was born, cracks have begun to show for me.
Basically I think we are just very different people (please don’t say the “you should have thought about that before you got pregnant” line because it’s not helpful and obviously I realise that now!)
I like to be organised and stick to a routine and I think baby thrives off this too. I like to share responsibilities and switch them up now and again so neither of us gets bored. I like baby to be bathed, fed and in bed by 10 at the very latest because any later than that and he gets cranky.
My partner however is very much a spontaneous person and doesn’t like routine or schedules or the sharing of tasks - he’d rather just do as he wants when he wants (selfish, in other words). He thinks me wanting the baby to be in bed by ten is ridiculous cos “he’s a baby, he doesn’t know what time it is”.
Christmas put me on edge because his family started xmas dinner at 11pm (don’t even ask) by which time I was itching to get baby home to bed. For them it’s perfectly normal and I looked like a killjoy wanting to go home. My family however had dinner around 6, and we were home by a reasonable 8.30 so baby’s routine wasn’t disturbed.
Am I being too uptight? Can this relationship work? Is it possible to compromise when you’re both so different? I desperately want it to work because he’s got a good heart and I want our baby to have a family, but I’m feeling so conflicted about our compatibility. Any insights would be appreciated.