Feel on edge with dh shouting

[Secrethidingplace]

Just he blows up so easily and I feel on edge. Need space but can't get it with lockdown and everyone in the house. He escalates things with teenage son.

Feel like I'm treading on eggshells a lot. Just need to vent here

Has he always been like that or just during lockdown? I also have a very short tempered husband and he escalates things too. It is really draining

He's been like this for many years. It's exhausting. Sorry you're going through it too. He shouts at us all

Can I join this club. Completely on eggshells here too! Exhausting and he just can’t see the issue. Everyone else is at fault. Just not sustainable

No it isn't sustainable. I feel like my kids are becoming shouty now too.

Have you tried talking to him about it? I tried today but apparently I’m not supporting him by not allowing him to wind the kids up then shout them down when they react. It’s unnecessary. We don’t need all this drama.

Whenever I've talked to him, he denies he has an anger issue. Agree, cannot keep on like this

I got mine to speak to an anger management person previously which did help. Now I feel that he thinks it’s me and the kids vs him. I really dislike him when he’s like this and can’t hide the fact from him or the kids. It’s so boring

He needs to go back to the office. We all need space and perspective. Tonight he gig my elder two to help with dinner which they did. Result I thought but then he went off on one about raw chicken getting on the worktop and that was it. My 12 yo DD reacted and th egg n that was the end of cooking. Then he feels entitled to be grumpy the rest of the night. Uuurgh

He's abusive and he's gas lighting you by denying he has an issue impacting on you and the kids. He doesn't have an anger issue, he has an abuse issue. It's not right and you have the right to a life free if his behaviour. Sounds like you're trying to manage a situation you have no control over, where he has the power and control. As he's not physical in his, abuse it can be difficult to frame as such, but if he refuses to change or even see your point of view then you should seek online help/advice. No one should be walking on eggshells especially at a time like this when we need support. Please have a look at the freedom programme and your national women's aid website. Goodluck op. Be safe, you're not at fault.

@lashesandflashes

Can I join this club. Completely on eggshells here too! Exhausting and he just can’t see the issue. Everyone else is at fault. Just not sustainable

Everythings my fault here. Anything he feels angry or stressed by. And it's my fault he gets angry, because apparently if I just supported him better he wouldn't be stressed by his job and he wouldn't get angry.

It isn’t any of your faults for being in abusive situations. Please look into leaving, this is no way to live

Does he explode and shout outside of to you and kids? When things are stressful at work? Because it's funny how often people like this can control their temper the rest of the time.

It's not okay. Things are especially difficult right now but that must means we are all obliged to try a little harder.

Reframe it to yourself not as shouting but as verbal abuse. I caught my XH shouting at my aged FIL and told XH that it was extreme verbal abuse and therefore domestic violence. If he ever did it again I would call the police. He did actually stop but it was too late, the love had gone.

Some would say this was a risky strategy and in many cases it would be. But with XH it made him look at himself differently. Might this help?

Gosh, this is abuse and no way to raise kids.
Please don't accept this poor excuse of a husband and father, the kids deserve better if you can't see that it's domestic violence.
Why do women put up with this shit?

Can the kids go and stay somewhere better? It’s not fair at all to make them live like this.

Hugely abusive.

Men that do this need to be asked to leave the house.

Flagging the house with 101 and telling him you WILL ring the police is he doesn't calm down and follow through is the only way to get the message across.

You are being terrorised in your home.

He is abusing the family.
He should leave the home.
Your children are suffering.
Women's Aid can advise.

So sorry.

It's not a question of why do women put up with this? More one of why do some men behave like this? Let's place the blame where it belongs!!

I had this treatment Every.Sodding.Day

There was a whole heap of coercive behaviour thrown in the mix too, and I moved out.