Is what I'm feeling normal?

[ash677x]

So it's been over a year since I left my abusive ex. He is living far away from me now. What effects have abusive relationships left on other people? I feel like I'm never going to find anyone again, I feel scared to speak up, I feel like I am annoying someone when I speak to them.. and every man that I meet is just going to hurt me? I want to feel normal. Am I being too hard on myself? I am trying to love myself more and embrace the single life.

Be kind to yourself! Take one day at a time,abuse is awful,you will be happy again when the time is right x

Have you had any support from Women's Aid or anything like that? Maybe look at what counselling is available. It's understandable that you have such fears following an abusive relationship - it's quite common to suffer things like PTSD.

The Freedom Programme is supposed to be good and you can do that online for about £12, I think - which might help you build good boundaries and get support.

You need to take your time and rebuild your "shark cage" after abuse, as it wrecks your boundaries. Don't rush to date, as people coming out of abusive relationship often do fall back into further abusive relationships, as those boundaries are buggered and it's familiar. www.oomm.live/the-shark-cage-metaphor-spotting-potential-abusers/

It will take time and this hasn't been the best year for embracing single life.

Op, I felt exactly what you did. It took me about 15 months to get my confidence back with men and that's only through a FWB who was harmless. My ex and I share kids and there is still part of me which is scared because of how he treated me in the past rather than him now. I'm not sure what the answer is but the main thing is time heals a lot and you have shown great courage to walk away. Onwards and upwards.