Too close for comfort.

[Jamesworks2hard]

Good evening all, firstly I want to apologise in advance, but I'm totally lost and am opening myself up for the first time ever, so I feel very on edge, sad, lost and in a way, cheated.

My name is name deleted by MNHQ, 60 years old and have been parted from my ex and kids for 10 years. We all get on fine and there's no issues. I don't know if my first post is long, muddled or seems odd, but please bear with me.

Just before the last lockdown I met someone I felt I could spend the rest of my life with, it was that elusive "instant spark". We got on great and I thought I was made, but after a couple of months, something put me on my guard, I was dropping her off one night and I needed a pee, but she wouldn't she wouldn't let me in her house to use the toilet, she pointed to a dark area in the garden where I could "go". I couldn't understand this, she'd been in my house more times than enough and I would have thought if I'd not allowed her to use my toilet, I would have been seen as behaving oddly.
By the time I'd finished, she gone in and locked the door, no goodnight kiss, nothing, I just drove home with all kinds of odd thoughts going through my head.
I called her the following day and asked if she was OK, I got a, "yes, why wouldn't it be?" I said, "with you not allowing me in to use the loo, I assumed something was the matter", "nothing wrong at all" she said, "I just don't want you in my house. I've got to go, catch up later", at this, she was gone. I sent her a couple of texts, but she never replied, so I just left it and got on with my day. I'm sure I'm not alone with this and others would have had alarm bells were going off.
Now I'm not a Facebook or any other social site user, but something inside me told me to do a little research, so I created an account and set to and did some investigation, was I in for a shock, there was 7 Facebook accounts in her name, each one had details about her, hundreds of photographs of her and her alone (but no photographs of any men), after reading down through the posts, all had a lot of negative comments made about her.
It would seem, she was very well known and not for any good reasons, reading down the comments, it seemed she owed money all over, regularly went to bars and restaurants and found fault with the food so she didn't have to pay for anything, made friends with people, bought clothes via thier catalogues and didn't pay. Ordered things in her name and had them delivered next door, only for the neighbours to find out months down the line that as the parcels were delivered to their property, they were liable for payment. She'd robbed and scammed people for years and would move house constantly.

After reading all this, I called her, she answered the phone and I quizzed her about her alledged activities, she had the gall to say it was someone else who was using her identity. My brain told me to end this and walk away, I was wondering is she had planned for me or had already put into place, so I ended the realtionship there and then.
I got the endless texts and calls from her, declaring her undying love and doesn't know what to do without me, but I wasn't having any of it.
I've heard nothing since the middle of October until today, I've had phone calls, emails and texts from companies claiming I've ordered stuff from them and not paid, although I've had no charges to my bank account, I went to my bank this afternoon and asked for advice, for my safety, they've opened another account for me and any money in and coming into my first account, will go straight to the new account and any D/D or S/O will be paid but nothing else, if anyone tries to buy anything from companies I've not dealt with before will be stopped.
On top of this, guess who tried calling me earlier this evening? She's now blocked on both landline and mobile, email and if she treis to message me on Facebook, she'll be blocked there too.
Can anyone suggest anything else I could and need to do to? I've never been in a situation like this before and I'm in the dark, apart from being very scared, it's also an emotional kick in the teeth to think that someone I was happy to enter into a long and meaningful relationship would try and con, rob and stitch me up like this. I'm sat here, trembling and shaking and thinking about what could have happened, I don't feel like I've been foolish, but I do know I've had a close escape.

Thank you.

Don't want to read this without commenting. It sounds really horrible what you have been through. I'm so sorry for you. How did you meet in the first place?

Also your post is quite identifying because you mention your first name. I'd report my post and ask for it to be edited so you are not so easily identifiable.

You need to inform the police.

Agree with pp call the police ASAP

Tell the police, she is probably part of a wider gang of organised scammers. She did not want you inside the house as you may have seen drugs, stolen goods and so on. Alert all your bank and credit card providers to the potential fraud. I have a fraud text alert scam at my bank, which stopped payments earlier this year that I knew nothing about. Once you have a police report, send it to the company claiming money from you. Open an online credit monitor and you can check your credit and bank actions for a few months to make sure there are no charges not related to your personal conduct. I rented a house briefly with my then husband while waiting to complete sale on another property, and the other couple lodging there got hold of our bank statements after we left. They tried to open bank accounts, credit card accounts and even get a mortgage for £200k+ in our names. I only discovered this when I checked our credit rating and it had fraud stamped over it. The bank would only give so much information about what happened, but they did extra checks for a few years afterwards to prove any money transactions or applications were really us. Sounds like you had a very lucky escape!

Op hope you are ok. Great advice from posters about police.

Jesus what a horrible woman! She probably didn’t want you in her house because her boyfriend and partner in crime was sat in there!! Usually these type of scanners come in pairs or groups. You were right to go to your bank but I would now contact the police, with her address. Explain your situation and that you have now seen all the Facebook comments etc. I’m assuming if people have wrote it on Facebook they would have contacted the police before so hopefully they already have a file on her. I hope your ok xx

Scammers not scanners*

Contact the police for the identity theft and check your credit score, for all you know you could have ccjs or other lines of credit in your name that you don't yet know about. There is a relationship fraud hotline, try googling the number, they might be more qualified to assist you in this and she may already be known to them given how prolific she seems to be locally.

Hi OP,

That sounds terrible. The good news is you found out now and are able to do something about it.

I’d get the police involved and tell them everything you know and give them her address. I wonder what she had in her house that she didn't want you to see.

You need to go to the police immediately. Tell them and show them everything. This woman is a con artist.

Blimey op, the one thing I would say concerning the police is the fact she has been to your house on a number of occasions.

You don't know whats 'types' she is involved with. I agree cover base with credit checks, banks, even the electorial role (once someone used my address with their name, was getting council tax letters to them)

Other identity theft an be through companies house if you are a director.

If you do go to the police will she know it is you?

Keep youself safe.

Good morning all, thank you for the suggestions and advice, I do apologise for the late reply, but I have been busy during most of the night and this morning, acting on what you've all mentioned and set to trying to protect myself and my finances. My bank has been brilliant and have discovered 2 names linked to my original account, but these are names that are unknown to me and any more attempts to try and make financial gain has been stopped. I have new debit and credit cards on the way along with new pin numbers. She's not had access to my cards or bank details (that I know of, but you cannot be too careful).

In the early hours, I spent a couple of hours writing down all I could remember and carefully tried to itemise everything we done, where we'd gone and copied and pasted the text and email messages we'd had. These are all still on my computer and phone, so apart from the paper copies, I have an electronic trail.

I'm now feeling very tired, so I'm going to try and get a little sleep, fingers crossed I will as I've more or less covered my back now and home nothing more comes of this.

Geppilli wanted to know how we met, I can confirm it was OLD.

My credit score is not good, due to the amount of debt my ex got herself into when I was at the old property and because my name is linked, my credit score is low, the last time I checked with Experian, it was 495 and anything below 560 is very poor, but I'm slowly building it up and only use the credit card to buy household electricals, (TV, washing machine, cooker etc).

Have you checked your credit score recently though? As in gone on the website and looked through what lines of credit, bank accounts etc are linked to you. If she has been opening catalogues, phone contracts, bank accounts etc in your name it will show up through a credit check. I've not used experian so not sure if it's the same but on clearscore it will tell you the number of your credit score but you can also check to all the things I've mentioned and will link anything they find connected to you on there, which you can check are actually things you opened and not connected to identity theft.

Hi you have done so well! I think you should also alert the OLD platform on which you met her.

Hi everyone, just a short update from me, I've contacted the OLD site we met on and have had an auto-reply, so I've put the wheels in motion there. I've checked my Experian score and it's now 499, so it's gone up by 4 points, every little helps eh?
Something I forgot to mention, in late November, I had a couple of purchases linked to my Paypal account, I did a little digging, but couldn't get access to my account as it had been locked, but without me getting any notification at all. I contacted Paypal, but they wouldn't deal with me as I couldn't tell me about the purchases, as I couldn't log in or tell them what the purchases were. I thought, this is stupid, I can't tell you what I was supposed to have bought as I'm loccked out, but you won't tell me for the same reason. I contacted my bank and they put a block on Paypal trying to withdraw money.
Following this, Paypal have called me several times, asking me to settle what I owe, but I refuse, because they won't tell me what I've used it to pay for. So I told them, if you can't communicate with me, I can do the same with you, now, if I answer a call from them, I just put the phone to one side and leave it. I'm not 100%, but I don't think this is anything to do with the woman I was invovled with.

Hi all, once again I feel I should apologise for my non appearance, but there's been an awful lot been going on that's taken up a lot of my time.

I'm happy to be able to tell you that I'm close to being sorted with my bank, Paypal, eBay and all the other issues that have been causing the sleepless nights and constant worries. Hopefully by Friday, my debit and credit cards will be accessible to me again, I'm still currently having to go to the bank to get cash to buy my shopping with, but that will with a bit of luck, from this weekend, I'll be able to chip and pin my shopping again, I won't be using contactless ever again, I've lost my trust with them.

The amount of scams, attempts to obtain credit and money has been astonishing, I've had emails from a massive American banking firm requesting my account is settled, the amount they want is £1,238! I've simply blocked them.

I've closed my accounts with Paypal and eBay, I will never ever use them again, the bank has been brilliant and have stopped anymore attempts got obtain cash, credit and unauthorised payments. Just last Friday, there was 2 attempts to get a bill for over £93 paid from my account and 9 attempts to order something from the same Argos outlet, valued at £33, each one stopped before the transaction could go through.

There has been attempts to obtain car and motorcycle insurance, one even had the make, model and registration of the motorbike, after some investigation, it turned out the bike was/is currently for sale in a motorbike dealers. Is there no end to the effort and methods these people are putting in to scam innocent members of the public?

Someone claiming to be from a place called Market Laverton has contacted me, asking why I've not paid my bill, when I asked what it was for, they went quiet and hung up. A few hours later, I had another call from the same place, but the caller used a different name and the number was withheld.

Due to the time its taken to sort and the intensity of the hassle I've had, I'm changing my phone number and going ex directory, I don't want to every have to go though this again, it's left me anxious, worried, cautious and lowered my trust levels to virtually nil.

Ha ha, maybe I spoke too soon, there's just been an attempt made to take out some more car insurance.

One good thing, I've had no contact from the woman with the "out of order" toilet, thank fully.

Stay safe people and please, keep alert.

Thank you.