What would you do?

[rperrina]

Ok, question time...

Would you
A) stay in a loveless marriage for a number of reasons

1. You both love the house you're in
2. Have 2 small kids and don't want to break their hearts
3. Love the school and area
4. Financially stability for your children

Or b) call it quits no point hanging onto something that isn't really there anymore?

B.

Whose sake would you be staying for really; theirs or really yours because it is somehow "easier"?.

What do you yourself want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here?. Would you potentially want a loveless relationship to become their norm too?. No you would not and this should not be at all acceptable now to you either. It is much more challenging to come to terms with our own circumstances and face our fears than it is to hide behind them as we stay together “for the kids.”

None of those reasons are good enough to stay and staying for the sake of the children teaches them really crap lessons about relationships. They will not say "thanks mum" to you for doing that to them.

Having two parents successfully move forward with their lives teaches an invaluable lesson: that we deserve to be happy and to feel loved. Conversely, remaining in relationships that perpetuate anger, devaluation, and lack of positive interactions leaves an indelible scar on children.

Are you really using those reasons because you are afraid to move on with your own life and take responsibility for their own happiness. Many people cite such above reasons because of fear of the unknown or fear of being alone. Divorce is not failure here but living in such unhappiness is.

(It doesn't break the kids hearts if you do it in the right way)

Thank you for your reply. I agree, I need to take charge and move on.

I said to myself over Xmas, this will be my last one unhappy and am starting to work on steps to change my future.

Any advice welcome but I am going to speak to a mortgage advisor tomorrow to get the wheels in motion.

It’ll break the kids hearts more to see their parents in a loveless, toxic relationship.