text back after 10months!

[snowbiehamham]

I have a dilemma. I was doing internet dating way back in March and was messaging someone who I liked. He lived in the same city as me amazingly and Was interesting and attractive and we sent quite long messages and I thought he liked me. We got to the stage of exchanging phone numbers but were still just messaging on the site. Anyway I sent him a message via the website and got no reply one day. I waited still no reply and I thought oh well he's obviously decided he;s not interested I'll move on. Anyway I discovered a text from him 9 months later on my phone that I hadn't seen and it was quite a long text too so he hadn't ghosted me . I just hadn't spotted his text. Like me I believe ha has also been single for years as he also has been through a dificult time. I will feel silly texting him back after 10 months. I 'm wondering what you think? We are in our 40s by the way. And also I have met someone else from the site who I have been seeing and I like but there is a bit of a lack of chemistry and we are still just friends.

Well I would say you have nothing to lose but don't expect him to still be single after all this time. That said covid has got in the way of dating so fingers crossed he's free! Good luck and keep us updated 😊

No harm in messaging him. I would, as I would feel bad for having appeared to ghost him.

i see the old mumsnet double standards are alive and kicking on this thread. text him, don’t text him 🤷‍♀️ but let your current chap loose first otherwise that’s just shitty.

treat others how you would like to be treated.

I would message. I asked a question on a facebook group and months later I saw that someone had responded but the message went to my spam folder so I missed it. I replied, he thought it was hilarious in a good way. We ended up meeting, had a wonderful time and we are still close a year later.

If your not exclusive with the other guy as you say just friends then text the other back to explain, he might be single you never know till you try.

I would text him. However, you haven't actually ever met him, so it might just have been a brief connection on the site/messages that wouldn't have translated to a real life meet up.

How long have you been seeing the other guy? Does he think you're "just friends" too? If you're only casually dating the second guy and you're not exclusive, there's no harm in texting the first guy.

@MaLarkinn

i see the old mumsnet double standards are alive and kicking on this thread. text him, don’t text him 🤷‍♀️ but let your current chap loose first otherwise that’s just shitty.

treat others how you would like to be treated.

Where did she say that she was in an exclusive relationship with him?

Text him!! As long as the new guy isn't under the impression theres more to your relationship than friendship, just go for it. Keep your expectations in check though, he might have met someone or not reply.

A text might seem dickish after all that time, I would probably call so that my sincerity would come across more and just let him know what happened.

Hi. thanks for your replies. The person I'm seeing at the moment I'm not really sure what we are. I can't even work out if he finds me attractive I find him attractive. He's a tall . dark, handsome , sensitive artist ! I told him by email after the first time we met that I didn't think there was much spark though and assumed he was looking for that. He said he didn't believe in that idea. You get to know someone and the relationship deepens! Which is a valid point and so we kept on seeing each other. We do also have a lot in common and live 10 minutes walk from each other and are probably both a bit lonely so I'm happy with that. I don't know where it will lead though.

As you aer so unsure about th current guy, do text but of course he may have met someone since, Nothing to lose though!
As you've never met, you may not have online chemistry translated into real one so if he does respond just meet him as soon as poss so that you know who are you interested in out of these two (or neither).