9 year old DD anger

[Rainydayss]

It's like having a toddler again, constant refusal to do anything and a meltdown to follow.
Is this normal? Hormones?
I must admit I'm struggling to get through the day without breaking down myself.

Possibly hormones.

Is she able to talk about her emotions and what triggers this behaviour, in calmer times?

Maybe she'd benefit from a feelings journal she could share with you?

Normal hormones.
Find a quiet time to have a rational chat.
I like bedtime or in the car.
We had chats about how it was okay to have feelings too big to express rationally, that anger is normal etc but that it isn't okay to take it out on anyone else.

We talked about how to deal with mood swings. How to let us know frustrations were building. How we would respect need for space if requested but that there were exceptions of behaviour on that.

So they could say - I'm feeling cross and on edge today, I don't want to talk now and would like to be left alone.
They still needed to do homework and chores and eat meals with the family but would be given space.

Angry outbursts should be dealt with when everyone is calm.

It does get better.

I have a 14&12 yr old girls.

We seem to be doing ok at the moment.
But the youngest is a lot more tempestuous than the older and I'm sure it will be fun

Thank you, it's good to know I'm not alone.
I think screen time is an issue but it's her lifeline currently as chatting to her friends on games and video calls. She's a social person and misses proper interaction.
I find her calm and can talk better when we go for a walk, however getting her to go on one in the first place is another matter. Ah the joys!