First Relate appointment tomorrow pm- what should I expect?

[ginnedupumpkin]

We've got our first appointment tomorrow and I'm getting nervous.
What sort of questions do they ask and would it help if I wrote down how I'm feeling, or a list of problems or should I just turn up and play it by ear.
I'm sure dp thinks he will get to say his piece and then the counsellor will tell me he's right and I'm a complete cow and send us on our way
He's been almost smug about it today, and every time I say anything he doesn't like he says "I'll be bringing that up tomorrow night too!" in a sort of half jokey / half serious way.
He seems to be forgetting the fact that we are going because he's a drunken arsehole who is on the brink of losing his family

Hi

I was at relate last week (alone i should add) first appointment with me they took my details and then asked why I was there and what I expected out of it, may be different for you as your dp is willing to go with you (i wish my dh was ) at least you've both taken the big step and are going, I've been doing the 'if only' today. Good luck and I'm sure you will be fine

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This is the first session ever so I guess it will just be the consultation.
I get a bit tongue tied with strangers whereas dp is very charming and confident so I'm a bit worried I'll come across the wrong way and he'll take over.
Also, he is so charming (when sober) I worry that the counsellor will find it hard to believe the things he's done when drunk (I would find it hard to believe if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes)

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Havent read the whole thread but dont worry about him taking over and coming across as in control - they are well trained at spotting that and even if they dont seem to side with you will get the whole picture.

Good for you for going and do expect to feel 'ganged up' for some of it but you will be fine.

Let us know how it goes

Hi GUP

With regards to your partner I think you need counselling separately as well as together (if he decides to continue with the counselling sessions). There are things that need to be unlearnt. I hope this is suggested by the counsellor you see.

Counsellors are like shoes - you need to find someone that fits you and be fully open with.

I wish you well with your first session.

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It went quite well actually. He kept trying to get the focus off his drinking and on to me and how I drive him to it but I managed to get my point across and the counsellor was lovely. She basically said to him that his behaviour wasn't acceptable to a family life and the time has come to choose which way he wants his life to go, which he agreed with. I think it helped to have a stranger say it to him rather than me as I just get told I'm nagging.
I felt such relief when it was over and for the first time in months I actually slept really well last night.
The only problem now is can we afford to go to the regular weekly sessions (£50 a go). The waiting list is 6-8 weeks so it should be after christmas now.
The other good thing is that he's been to the docs and he has to keep a diary of his drinking over the next 2 weeks and then go back. He's also got some tablets to stop him smoking too.
So at least he's trying!