When this is all over - my life will be the same

[Buzzer3555]

Just that really - I am 62 my kids are getting independent (23 and 21) Me and husband never do anything together, never go out or have a laugh. He is quite happy to sit on the sofa and watch "escape to the country" and watch coronavirus updates endlessly – I have noticed other people cant wait for the end of the restrictions so they can get back to normal – but this is my normal. Feeling down as life is so depressing and I can’t see it getting better.

Have these

I'm sorry I haven't got anything constructive to add...
Maybe a penpal? Take up crochet? Learn a language. What makes you happy?

Sorry to hear this OP, but if you are in good health, then you have a lot of active life left.

Can you/would you want to go back to work, if not I would get along to the volunteer centre and find something good for you, reconnect with friends (walks etc - could you do that now?), and join some activities locally so you can make new friends. Invite some people round a bit and it might liven up your husband. Start exercising if you don’t, and keep your brain active. Get yourself a life.

Last poster is hilarious - pen pal or crochet - she seems to thing you are either 9 or 93

@partyatthepalace glad I could brighten up your evening. I crochet and write to pen pals and I'm 32 not sure what your point is. I was just trying to think of things to fill time for the op as she sounded so down.

Umm, so you sound like the issue isn’t lockdown so much as your DH and you perhaps wanting different things. Do you think these can be accommodated within your marriage, eg you have your own interests and he carries on with ‘escape to the country’ or do you think this is underlining that you need a new start. I definitely don’t think 62 is too old to make a new start, you hopefully have many years of good health and leisure time in front of you with children grown and work needs starting to recede? (Sorry, assuming this, i know this isn’t always true). I’m much closer to your age than your children’s but my parents divorced when I was a young adult and I am so glad my amazing mum had some years of freedom away from my dad.

@saiditbetterthanme

That it’s fairly clear from her post that the OP would like to get out of the house and meet people

It was my normal too op. I was in a controlling relationship and my ex didn't let me go out. I know that's not the same as your situation but I spent 10 years living in lockdown so I understand that part. As you can probably tell, I've left him now.

As you haven't mentioned any other problems with your relationship besides this, then could you suggest to him that you start going out for a meal or something once a month? (Or however often). Also try and get your own hobbies and interests so you don't need to depend on him for a social life. It really isn't worth being miserable when you can change things x

Don't let him sitting on the sofa stop you going out.

If you have any friends or family you could spend time with, then you could start arranging things to do once the lockdown ends. Don't worry if you haven't - I had lost all my friends in that relationship but I've contacted some old ones and have arranged to meet one after this. That's just one person and I doubt we will be able to see each other much but I am hoping to also start a hobby of some kind once lockdown is over so I can meet new people.

You could start researching for local hobby/interest groups, or volunteering that you can do after lockdown. I bet you can find something when you get looking, and it will give you something to focus on while we can't actually go anywhere.

@partyatthepalace good luck with that during lockdown.

Thanks for the kind words and suggestions. I Know I have got to get a grip. I need to accept that he is older than me and not in the best of health. I do work one day a week but wfh at the moment. Volunteering is a good idea. As is crochet but i think i will opt for cross stitch:) thanks again for your support.

Absolutely volunteer- choose something you fancy and hopefully along with it will come a social life/evening events etc...

[quote saiditbetterthanme]@partyatthepalace good luck with that during lockdown.[/quote]
@saiditbetterthanme
The post is about how to build up a social life post lockdown. If you reread the post and other people’s replies you will see that.

Your hobbies are indeed lovely, but they will not help the OP with her main issue.

You slightly misread a post, and I slightly took the piss out of you for doing so. It’s not serious, and you don’t need to get upset about it.

@partyatthepalace thanks for your explanation. I understood the post and was offering suggestions on filling the void until lockdown restrictions are over, rather than just waiting to make changes. I'm not upset about your post, I'm too busy crocheting with one hand and writing to my penpal in the other...

Good luck op. There's been some lovely advice and I hope you find the help you need.