[quote Tiyaddd]@Eckhart I couldn’t answer that at this moment in time[/quote]
But you have answered 
You do matter to yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to find ways to make you feel better. You're trying to look after yourself. That's what you need to do. Your mechanisms are off, but the basis is there for a self respecting, self sufficient person.
What's wrong with a 'Fuck 'em, I'll go it alone!' attitude?
The only think that matters is that you recognise that you are amazing. Everybody is. Every individual has their own strengths and weaknesses, has had their own positive and negative experiences of the world, and, as a result, is completely unique. In the nicest possible way, there is nothing special about you. By that, I mean that there's no special decree that says you deserve less than anybody else, or are less important than anyone else, or that your feelings are less valid than anyone else. There's no rule to say that you should have less self respect than anyone else.
If you can't make yourself believe it, pretend for a bit. Fake it 'til you make it. Practice walking past the mirror and giving yourself a wink, doing an impression of a confident person, saying 'I totally rock.' Fix your posture when you walk down the street so you walk tall and proud. Do an impression, in your head, of a confident person you know (in real life, or on TV) Do their self talk in your head. It might not make you believe it, but it can give you a start in thinking differently.
The only thing wrong is that you think something's wrong, and that's because of your upbringing. It's not your fault. But it is your responsibility to fix. Your life is yours and you can do what the fuck you like, and you don't need anybody's approval or blessing. Approve of and bless yourself.