AIbU

[httdwefb]

So I've been exclusively seeing a guy for a while now. I have a daughter who splits her time between mine and her dads and he lives alone so we have formed a bubble together.
My daughter is at her dads this weekend so we'd made arrangements to spend tonight and tomorrow/evening together.
This morning he messaged saying he wasn't feeling great and could we rearrange to tomorrow evening or Monday evening, still wants to see me etc etc. I replied saying yes let's see how you're feeling, hope you're feeling better soon etc. He's text throughout the day as usual.
Then about 5.30 text saying he was feeling better and wants to see me tomorrow night. D see so organised to see him then.
I've just tried to call him to see how he was feeling and he didn't answer. He text a while later saying he didn't feel great, could we speak tomorrow. I replied 2 mins later for the message not to deliver and his phone turned off.
Would you be suspicious?
Generally I'm not a this type of person but something just isn't sitting right for me. But I might being unreasonable?

Nothing that would make me suspicious there. Is there anything else he's done?

I would probably assume he's unwell and turned his phone off to avoid being disturbed, but that's giving him the benefit of the doubt. Do you have other reasons to think he might be up to no good?

No I wouldn't be suspicious by that.

Hmm. I would be suspicious but maybe thats my suspicious mind..

Generally I'm not a this type of person but something just isn't sitting right for me. But I might being unreasonable

You're being unreasonable to be asking a bunch of strangers on the internet rather than trusting your gut instinct.

Your response to this could be unreasonable, (eg if you go and throw a brick through his window, screaming that he's a pile of crap, or something) but the feeling is not. You need to respect your feelings, and not be squashing them down in case you are somehow 'having feelings wrongly'.

He may have thought he was feeling better, then suddenly thrown up, let you know, and switched off his phone to go to sleep.

He may have lied to you, and been with another woman.

If you're worried, take appropriate steps to get enough information to stop you worrying. Don't deal with this by pretending the worry isn't there. It is. Your boundaries are where they are for a reason. Nobody can tell you that's not ok or than you need to move them. The most important person you need to respect your boundaries is you.

Thanks for your responses maybe I am been suspicious and unreasonable. He's text today saying he's feeling a little better and wants to see me tonight so I guess I will go with the flow and see what happens.

I keep my phone on silent most of the time and esp if I was unwell and sleeping .

@httdwefb

Be sure to respond appropriately if your niggling feeling is still there after you've spoken to him about it. Don't dismiss it. You have spidey senses for a reason.

@httdwefb

Thanks for your responses maybe I am been suspicious and unreasonable. He's text today saying he's feeling a little better and wants to see me tonight so I guess I will go with the flow and see what happens.

What was actually wrong with him?

Surely if he was that ill you don't really want to be mixing with him today.

Sounds like he's playing games to me but I could be wrong.

He's had a bad head and no energy - not covid he had a test on Friday which has come back negative.
I will see what he says later and how I feel after I've seen him face to face.

If he had a test he must have been feeling unwell.

My son was feeling unwell, headache, no appetite, exhausted.

It past after a couple of days.
It could just be something viral and he is resting up.

But also keep an ear out for your gut.

All due respect op but you do sound a bit paranoid

@changedmynamelol

All due respect op but you do sound a bit paranoid

Yes I do realise that. Sorry

@changedmynamelol

All due respect op but you do sound a bit paranoid

It doesn't really matter. OP is uncomfortable. Labeling it won't help, and makes people dismiss their feelings. Responding to the discomfort will help.