I have taken myself off out for the evening and just sat in Tescos car park because I can't stand the thought of being at home tonight. I can't believe that it has come to the point where I would sit in a cold dark car on my own than be in my own home.
My marriage is shit. I would say it died after we had kids.it was probably never right. DH has never been one for lavish displays of affection, talking about his feelings etc. But we used to have fun together. Then the kids came and it went to shit. I would say I grew up, he didn't. He would say I changed into a nagging housewife. He is always miserable, never happy, always moaning about something. I don't actually believe he enjoys spending time with the family. He just always looks so miserable. Never wants to talk. But he's always happy to sit and talk to his friends ok tne xbox all night.
He came in from work with a face of thunder tonight, sulking around. I ask once what's wrong, get told everything is fine, just tired. But he is looking at me like I am a piece of shit on his shoe. I just couldn't bare the thought of another night sitting there alone with no one to talk to while he either sits with his head in his phone, or goes to bed early. If I went upstairs to read, he would happily sit on xbox talking to friends all night. Keeping me awake.
If we didn't have the kids, I would leave. We can't afford to run two households. He would want the kids 50/50 and I don't want to miss out on that time with them. I hate my life. I hate that the one fucking person who is meant to care about me doesn't give a shit.
I don't want to go home.